Notting Hill is finally getting it's mojo back.... At Maison du Chien.

I've spent the last eight years, grumpy as fuck, bitching about the lack of anything in Notting Hill other than the desire to yack around in pubs bars and clubs snivvelling up cocaine. I write poems about it, I alienate more people than you can shake a straw at,  and you know what! I was right.


But now. At last. Notting Hill is finally finding it's mojo.

I went up to Maison du Chien, above the Bumkin in Westbourne Park Road tonight. I went up because Piers Thompson was celebrating Tanya's birthday (it is a bit like that in the Thompson household) by DJ ing in his inimitable style (new verb: to Piers) and making a happening in his wake.What I found was a mini cabaret; just two acts: Earl Okin (a bloke I've seen around for ever but never knew he could do what he did) and Kalki; the best hula hoopist on the planet who even Piers couldn't faze. I went home after this, I'm elderly and need my sleep but apparantly stuff happens into the early hours.


Maison du Chien is Mat Whitley's baby, born of Medium Rare, and I think interesting because it doesn't try to be anything other than good fun. and that is what it is. Good fun! A little bit of Burlesque type nudity always helps.


It is a long climb up to the top floor at Bumkin. It is a climb well worth attempting without assistance.


Maison du Chien is happening until it stops (I'll try to find a link) but until then go.

Failing that go to Medium Rare at the Tabernacle... Feel the mojo rising!

Keith Richards at Proud Chelsea. Oh and the Beatles, Hendrix and Dylan too.

A busy day yesterday.


Lunch at the Tabernacle with the delightful singer/songwriter Rebecca Poole; more about her in later blogs.


Then off to Proud Chelsea: http://www.proud.co.uk in the Kings Road for the opening of an exhibition of photographs by Michael Joseph of a baby faced Keith from the 60's and early 70's.  It is a small show but contains some iconic pictures.

                                           Photo: Michael Joseph


A real bonus was the various images of  Dylan, Hendrix, and Beatles also on show in the gallery; well worth a visit if only for the cover shot for 'Rubber Soul' and the naked ladies from 'Electric Ladyland'.


I managed a little schmoozing before dinner at the Stockpot: http://stockpotchelsea.com/ a place I have not visited for years. Glad it is still there though; a rare reminder of the Kings Road of old.

First Wednesdays in Notting Hill

http://www.firstwednesdays.co.uk/

Channel 4's Seven Days; Weak.

I accidentally caught the Channel 4 reality show Seven Days last night, if you must know I had been watching something called Desperate Housewives (I don't own a TV so this was something of a novelty), and wish I hadn't but am glad I did.


Seven Days is typical of the sort of TV that causes me to not own a television; there is nothing remotely resembling reality in the show, it is merely a collection of smug, egoists (or is it egotists) serendipitously bumping into each other in the land of trite happen chance, talking about themselves in a seriously 'bigmeup' kind of way and the only reference point seems to be earlier episodes of the show.


This is television well and truly disappearing up it's own arsehole.


If you want to know about Notting Hill and the incredible cross section of people who inhabit it do not expect to learn anything from Seven Days.


Seven Days can only be seen to be attempting to follow (and failing miserably) in the footsteps of great shows such as Noddy, Camberwick Green, Trumpton and Postman Pat!


Seven Days..... Weak.


I am tempted to believe that aforementioned housewives desperation stemmed from having to watch the damn thing.

What is Roughler TV?

I put that question to Piers Thompson (one of Roughler's movers and shakers) and as luck would have it, he had an answer:


The magazine was Sniffing Glue meets Tatler. The TV incarnation is a Rantblog meeting BBC4. It celebrates life in the shadow of the Westway. We try to rouse the ghosts of the past who made Notting Hill the most subculturally significant neighbourhood in the World, so they can inspire the young in the spirit of Rock n Roll rebellion. The channel started in 2007 during Portobello Film Festival in tandem with Roughler Gallery where you can buy yesterday's memories at today's prices. We have covered subjects as diverse as Unicycle Hockey under the Westway, to the opening of Poundland on Portobello Road; from Lily Allen's return to the Tabernacle to the Class War march on David Cameron's house; music includes Nick Laird-Clowes Greenpeace anthem Mayday, to Ray Roughler Jones' Recession Glee or John Bindon to Gaz Mayall and The Trojans. Interviews have included John Maybury, Peter Richardson, Tony Benn, Ian Bone of Class War, Molly Parkin, Jake Arnott and Rusty Egan.

Here's one they made earlier:

Street critcism

Criticism before the artist has time to wipe the smile off his face.

Banksy Film at the Pop up Cinema W11.(Banksy has aerosoled out) And the Rotting Hill Gang.

Oi Banksy! The place for street art is on the street not in the cinema.


The minute you place Plexiglas over a wall painting is the moment you condemn it to mediocrity. The minute you put it on celuloid (or video) the same.  Street art IS because of it's ephemeral nature not because of it's self importance.


I started to watch a film narrated by someone pretending to be Banksy about an extremely boring bloke with a video camera. The high point for me was a length of green rope about 15 minutes into the video... Sorry Fillum.


PHEW!


Having said that, the pop up Cinema under the Westway is Great and should be celebrated.


Pop up Cinema 10 - Banksy 0


There was a great tribute to Ari Up beforehand though.


Do I get an award for reviewing this before the thing has ended...No.  But I got to meet Gary from the Rotten Hill Gang outside the Muse in Portobello Road who asked me along to a gig up the road which is just up my graffiti bedecked street!

The young satellites.

http://www.atomrooms.com/2010/10/the-young-satellites/

Postcards from Portobello Road. 1

Roughler Guide to Rotten Hill Bar & Grill 2

Just arrived in my inbox courtesy of Piers Thompson and Roughler TV.


A splendid afternoon in the heart of Notting Hill.

Ari Up. R.I.P.

Ari Up, frontwoman for pioneering British punk band the Slits, died Wednesday (Oct. 20).

LES TWINS "Rug Dealers" | YAK FILMS | WORLD OF DANCE TOUR | NEW STYLE HI...

5X15 at the Tabernacle. Howard Jacobson and the Booker prize.

How do you humanise a writer?

 

Photo: Christopher Scholey:

 http://www.christopherscholey.com

In Howard Jacobson's case you give him (desevedly) the Booker prize then get him on the stage at 5X15 at the Tabernacle a couple of days later.To a layman such as myself; I am not a 'completist' of the Jacobson Canon by a country mile, Jacobson came across as a Man pleasantly surprised by the award and pleased as punch to boot... A joy to listen to and an incitement to buy his books.


5X15 have got it right; 5 literary types are each given 15 minutes in which to talk, not read but talk to (from what I could see) a healthy looking knowledgeable audience.  15 minutes is spot on; short enough to leave you wanting more but not long enough to allow for waffling induced boredom. The auditorium at the Tabernacle is the perfect venue in being neither too small or too large with a sense of being somewhere special.


Jacobson was preceeded by Rachel Johnson, Alexander Masters, Diane Athill; an absolute delight and Alex Bellow; a sum greater than his parts (this is a very clever joke designed to get me invited to take part in 5X15) talking about numbers and keeping every ones attention, even at the back!


5X15 is a regular event at The Tabernacle and a high point in the calendar.

Virtual Factory press release for Turf Freinz.

Due to the hijacking of Virtual Factory I no longer have any say.  I wish the guys well and hope they can avoid unscrupulous types trying to make money out of them.


http://virtualfactoryone.blogspot.com/ 

Virtual Factory

http://virtualfactoryone.blogspot.com/  Check it out for a low down on the low down.

Rotten Hill Gang - City of Cold Steel

O.K.

 Ok. I start my blogs with OK quite often. but what does it mean?


OK. Hey Ho let's go; I got that from the Ramones back then and I'm old enough to remember the Ramones back then when they were alive and alive enough to remember me.


Ok. I am going to take time out.   Enough.

Cassetteboy vs The Bloody Apprentice

Not so Rotten Hill Gang and the West Born.

What a Day!  (I nicked that from my director who nicked it from a Robbie Williams song); Filming on the streets of Notting Hill with cameraman Gordon Anderson and  Farah Damji. Farah turned out to be an unwelcome arrival in my life and is no longer involved in any of my projects.


Then on to Powis Square W11 for an afternoon of music courtesey of  Pink Cigar and the delightful West Borns; who are certainly destined for greater things and considering their ages, something in the region of 13 years, have plenty of time, plus the debut of Gus Robertson and Johnny Borrell's new band topped by the irrepressible Rotten Hill Gang who were on great form.

                                          Rotting Hill Gang

I spotted Christopher Scholey; general manager of the Tabernacle, out in the crowd with his camera.

                                          Christopher Scholey


There again it was a pretty Notting hill rock n roll type thing all round.

Honesty.

'Sometimes'. said Jan by telex this evening. 'sometimes you just have to be honest. Even if it hurts'.


Listening to you feed me this bullshit is hurting Jan. I thought.


But I am too tired to do anything other than tell the truth today, I cannot pretend, I cannot lie:


I spent the day being filmed and interviewed for a viral press release.  We had lunch courtesy of the Tabernacle (always a treat) followed by a well earned siesta. The evening was spent cooking for a good friend (a rare treat up in the garret) and a telephone conversation with a Californian turf dancer friend.  How cool is that.


O.k. said Jan when he called back. No one is going to believe that.


Lie for their sake.

Turf Feinz can RIP me any day.

I have posted this, have gone against all of my principles and policy purely to demonstrate that there is so much depth to what these guys are doing.


when I go; taken out by whatever bullet modern so called civilisation sends my way I want these guys dancing on my grave!


At least I will have known I had lived.... Not dawdled through life waiting for some other fucker to do something.




.

Sunflower Tate modern fiasco update. Seeds of doubt!

Stolen from Tate Modern?

As usual Jan Nieupjur was on the button... Of course the Health & Efficiency people are going to kick up a stink over opening a giant hamster cage full of unhygenic foreign detritus to the public.  
Jan suggested via Skype this morning that they should have filled the space with all the brown M&N's that prima donna rock stars insist out of their riders. Of course then it would look just like a rabbit hutch... Same problem.


Jan went on to say that soon we will be asked to don surgical gloves before wiping our arses;  try calling that 'ART' Mr Serota.

Yoram Savion interview & poem (Stop Youth Violence Project at Youth UpRi...

Club 21 - Remaking the scene, something new is going to happen and Andy Warhol without a wig.

To the club 21 private view/launch party last night at No.1 Marylebone (you know the one time church that now has a valid use).


A refreshing antidote to the Freize rubbish down the road and for once an enjoyable 'Art scene'


Jan Nieupjur writes:


CLUB 21


Shit, me and Andy were always in that place; him to be seen and me to be styling him. He had really got into my wigs by then; he stopped me wearing them in case confusion set in. Bianca Jagger was always there deep in conversation with her lawyers (she had some cute lawyers back then) Claus Nomi would sing occasionally while Grace Jones watched attentively.


I have dug a couple of old photographs out; I am not in them because Andy had me airbrushed out of everything since the incident with the monochrome prints : http://jannieupjur.blogspot.com/2008/08/guggenheim-and-warhol.html

                                        Andy Warhol (without wig) and Marcia Mercadante

Andy Warhol(without wig), Stephen Torton, Jean michel Basquait & Marcia Mercadante 

                                          Madonna


Club 21: Remaking the scene.
One Marylebone, London NW! 4AQ
October 13 - 23, 2010


Something new is going to happen every day.

As usual Book prize goes to one of my mates!

London author and columnist named winner

12 October 2010.  Jan Nieupjur is tonight (Tuesday 12 October) named the winner of the £50,000 Nieupjur prize for Fiction for The Pentimento Question, published by Blogger.

London author and columnist Jan Nieupjur has been longlisted twice for the prize, in 2006 for Oi vey Missus and in 2002 for Is it cos I is going to the right parties, but has never before been shortlisted.

The Pentimento Question is a novel about love, loss and male friendship, and explores what it means to be old hat today.

Said to have ‘some of the wittiest, most poignant and sharply intelligent comic prose in the English language', The Pentimento Question has been described as ‘soso' and ‘written by my mate' and as a novel of ‘full of wit, warmth, intelligence, human feeling and networking'.

Blah blah exquisitely written blah!

Amazing facebook fact discovered.

Doctors have discovered that only 7 words are neccessary to comment on facebook.


These words are: Look how clever I think I am!


They go on to say that the exclamation mark is optional

Freize Art Fair 2010: Puckering up both ends!

Yawn.


Yes it is that time of year again when the pretentious art world puckers up both ends for a collective arse kissing at Freize.  It is always the same old bollocks; I shall enter the spirit of the moment by posting a previous years review....


No one will know the difference; all too busy attention seeking!

Frieze... But is it art...

As I stolled through 'Frieze' last week a chill cut me to the bone.

I came away from the thing feeling depressed and dissappointed Yet at the same time I was elated by the fact that, as I inspected the fornicating, gold plated pigs, my muse had sashayed up to me, giggled, and whispered in my ear. Showing me the direction I must now take.

Some of the pieces on show were good, some were even very good but they were in a small minority. surrounding this nucleus of work by established (Old School even) Artists was a bish bash bosh of dross. an assemblage of the most tawdry, lazy and crass objects I'd ever care to shake a stick at. One enormous tin of poo. It reminded me of nothing more than the wind blown detritus in a roadside hedge. This is when the muse opened my eyes to what I was looking at; this was not Art, this was at best a collection of half resolved observations on the state of art today, a drunken 'undergraduate' discussion informed by todays obsession with 'why' rather than 'what'. 

Teachers in Art schools have become preoccupied with the thought processes with little interest in the quality of the finished work. The journey is all important, the destination irrelevant. Sadly what I saw leads me to believe that most of todays 'Art Travellers' are bogged down in a scuzzy camp-site in an unknown land. 

It is not the fault of the artists. The blame must be equally shared between the cynical Art establishment and those that teach students to believe the hype. A fraction of Art school graduates have got what it takes to achieve even a mediocre greatness and they are being churned out lacking even the basic skills that might allow them to work in the commercial sector.

Is it a coincidence that a great number of young british Artists live and work in Hackney? their work is certainly hackneyed! 

At Frieze one of the works on show was a large piece of old rope snaking accross the floor... Yes, they wanted money for it! 

This article first appeared in the blog in 2008.

Sunflower seeds at Tate Modern.

About the exhibition

Ai Weiwei, one of China’s leading Conceptual artists and an outspoken cultural and social commentator, has undertaken the eleventh commission in The Unilever Series.

Sunflower Seeds is made up of millions of small works, each apparently identical, but actually unique. However realistic they may seem, these life-sized sunflower seed husks are in fact intricately hand-crafted in porcelain. Each seed has been individually sculpted and painted by specialists working in small-scale workshops in the Chinese city of Jingdezhen. Far from being industrially produced, they are the effort of hundreds of skilled hands.

Poured into the interior of the Turbine Hall’s vast industrial space, the 100 million seeds form a seemingly infinite landscape. Sunflower Seeds is a sensory and immersive installation, which we can touch, walk on and listen to as the seeds shift under our feet. The casual act of walking on the work’s surface contrasts with the immense effort of production and the precious nature of the material. Porcelain is almost synonymous with China and, to make this work, Ai Weiwei has manipulated traditional methods of crafting what has historically been one of China’s most prized exports. Sunflower Seeds invites us to look more closely at the ‘Made in China’ phenomenon and the geo-politics of cultural and economic exchange today.

Jan Nieupjur, in a bit of a state, demands: Since when has the bottom of a fucking hamster cage been art?  Oi Serota; No!

Banksy does the simpsons. there or square be.

Or is it 'Simpsons does Banksy'? it is hard to tell these days who is spoofing who.


Anyway this is fun!  D'oh.

Turf; part of the solution.

Since posting the Yak Films turf dance video things have gone a little crazy for all concerned; the video has gone viral; The Huffington Post covered the story linking to this blog, the Guys involved have been getting a lot of attention (quite deservedly) and long may it last.


There is a serious issue here.


Turf dance is being used as a means of resolving disputes where a gun might once have been used; the Dancers, musicians and film makers are openly anti gun crime. Turf is drawing positive attention to a much criticised section of the American population. Turf dance is also being used to express dissatisfaction, grief (R.I.P. 211) and much much more.  


These guys are not the problem; they are part of the solution!

Rotten Hill Bar & Grill.

Anish Kapoor in Kensington Gardens. London and Playlister.

Culcher in the park!


Being housebound; if not housebound then certainly immediate vicinity bound I have to get my culture vicariously. Dan Lywood; top DJ and often recipient of a Cow hello posted this in facebook today. I nicked it... such is the wonder of the interweb.  Thanks Dan!

                                          Photo: Dan Lywood

Check out the playlister website:http://playlister.wordpress.com/

Turf Dance explained.

Nicked this from wikipedia; means half of it will be wrong but WTF:

Turf dance is a form of street dance associated with hyphy music. The term, which originated as an acronym for Taking Up Room on the Floor,^[1][2] was created by the influential turf dancer Jeriel Bey; the dance form was originally known as “hittin’ it”. The dance form had its earliest influences in the break dance movement of the 1980s. It developed into a distinctive dance style  in Oakland California.

Kirsty MacColl.

Brian Nevill wrote the following this morning:

My mate Kirsty, who would have been 51 years old today. Taken from us ten years ago this coming Christmas. I still can't really believe it sometimes. This was taken in Croydon in 1979, at the start of her 'pop' career. A precocious talent lost before full bloom. Amen.

On the Rocks - Lady Gaga - Bad Romance

White American boys can cut it too. I love this.

bootcamp for the broken hearted: Mary Cigarettes.

Sometimes ones thoughts are better expressed by another. 

Turf dancing in Oakland CA: Who those guys are!

this video is doing the rounds over here at the moment. It is an incredible demonstration on a number of levels; not least it is an example what the internet should really be about.


Arty fuckers might call it site specific performance art, White middle aged conservatives might call it threatening because it goes against all of their traditional prejudices when it comes to black youth and specifically male black youth. I just call it magical and inspiring and totally beyond criticism.


Every white adolescent in this country should watch this (all the black kids will know about it anyway); perhaps it may inspire a little more creativity and a little less indolence.  Without doubt it will generate respect!


The dancers are: No Noize (red jacket), Man (black jacket), BJ (striped shirt) and Dreal.  


check out YAK films online; there are more video's:

YAK LIKE YOU KNOW  

YAK began as a production team of young photographers and filmmakers dedicated to youth-led multimedia production which provides a voice for resistance and an alternative to played-out mainstream media. At its core, YAK is a visual wrecking crew built to use every form of expressive multimedia to share the voice of youth in urban America and promote change on every level.

YAK's work with urban dance began with the legendary TURF FEINZ crew from Oakland, CA, innovators of the TUF dancing style. YAK is now evolving to take the lead in the street-based documentation of the global dance movement. We hope to see many more dance crews coming up all around the world and teaming up with new media companies to produce high quality dance videos. We encourage people to start documenting the various dance styles from their neighborhoods, cities and countries.

If you haven't already, join YouTube, subscribe to our channel, add us as a friend, send us a message, show us some videos, rate, comment, follow us on Facebook (search YAKFILMS.com), Twitter @YAKFILMS. We appreciate the support from people all over the world. Be part of the movement.

You can reach us by email at info@YAKFILMS.com  or:  http://www.youtube.com/user/YAKfilms

Many thanks to William Kamroon for replying to my inquiry and providing information on the dancers.  Hopefully we can post more video's in the future.

Great stuff.


Our follow up press release video can be seen here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCtkuGPIts8

Turf; part of the solution.

Since posting that Yak Films turf dance video things have gone a little crazy for all concerned; the video has gone viral; The Huffington Post covered the story linking to this blog, the Guys involved have been getting a lot of attention (quite deservedly) and long may it last.


There is a serious issue here.


Turf dance is being used as a means of resolving disputes where a gun might once have been used; the Dancers, musicians and film makers are openly anti gun crime. Turf is drawing positive attention to a much criticised section of the American population. Turf dance is also being used to express dissatisfaction, grief (R.I.P. 211) and much much more.  


These guys are not the problem; they are part of the solution!

Spiders On Drugs

Rhys Ifans, Howard Marks and Mr Nice.

Mr Nice; the filmed life of Howard Marks (I met him a couple of years ago, he was too stoned to make much sense) starring Rhys Ifans ( I will not under any circumstances spill Cow drinking beans but Rhys did introduce me to the notion of a drinking straw in a carafe of white wine as a beverage option) is released today.... Below is the trailer.


I shall be reviewing it here soon!

National poetry day poem. Under nurses orders!

To celebrate poetry day and facebook I have produce the first facebook poem.

Send it to a friend.

Andreas Grant It's Putin's birthday!(...and national poetry day)

12 minutes ago · Comment · 

• • 
    

    Tristan Hazell 
    

    i'm giving up putin it about
    under doctors orders
    i'm sending it all nurses way
    under nurses orders
    
    bosomly love is the love for me
    under an upside down watch
    which reads the right way
    twice a day
    Oh nurse

    
    

    about a minute ago · 

    
    

Royal Academy pavement paintings. Ben Wilson.

Christian Banfield spotted these on the pavement outside the royal Academy this morning. They are tiny; 2" diameter.  Can anyone shed light on them?

Photographs: Christian Banfield  http://www.schmick.tv/

UPDATE. November 2013:  It seems they are the work of Ben Wilson. http://foroneweekonly.com/Artists/Ben-Wilson

Career changes, bosomly love and The palpable wince.

Jan called round today. He is in trouble for all sorts of reasons not least because of the Luz Morales fiasco.


'I am undergoing a career change'.  He stated.


I asked for an explanation. He provided one: ' I am changing the direction in which I am careering uncontrollably Tristan.  I have discovered by accident what goes through the mind of a 15 year old boys Matronly aunt as she spits on her hanky prior to wiping from his mouth the detritus of a hastily eaten fish supper in a Surrey road house car park.'


That. I said, does not sound healthy Jan!


'It is the product of bosomly love Tristan! elderly poets on the brink of their expiry dates are subject to many manifests of bosomly love.  It is a form of bullying. It brings offers of chicken soup (dumplings or no dumplings) and 4 dimensional hugs  But when you get to my age what appears to a schoolboy as a matronly aunt is in fact (in terms of age percentiles) a very hot young babe'.


He went on: 'Bosomly love is causing a massive career change in me Tristan'.


'Bosomly love has me wringing my hands; the hands of a once doubting Thomas when it came to women.... This Thomas is no longer in doubt. this Thomas has seen into Matrons soul'.


when did Luz get her promotion? I asked.


'Yesterday.  She became a matron yesterday!'


The wince is palpable.

NHS Scandal of hospital panic buttons connected to buzzer in Spanish Bordello .

It was revealed today that the 'panic button' beside the hospital bed of 112 year old Artist and philosopher Jan Nieupjur actually sounded a buzzer in a Spanish Bordello in Marbella.

Nurse Luz Morales (38 DD) declined to answer questions while posing for photographs.