114 year old Jan Nieupjur tells me that, when that Farage bloke called in at his care home in Frinton, all he asked him was: 'Do you want to be incontinent'?
Jan told him no he did not whilst dreaming of running naked through a summer meadow with a beautiful young flaxen haired girl without the inconvenience of his colostomy bag slapping against his belly.
I thought I was voting to get my youth back says Jan. I thought I was voting to get Mandy O'Morford to give me that long ago promised peep at her front bottom.
I now realise that all I was ever going to see was a cunt called Nationalism.