A guest blog from an 11 year old boy.
I got a puppy for Christmas, outwardly that looks brilliant, but after a week or two the polish wears off.
I cannot watch TV on a puppy, I cannot play games on a puppy, I cannot google porn on a puppy. All a puppy does is live and breathe and love me.
You would not believe the things a puppy does: it shits and pisses and expects me to clear it up. When I shit and piss I have my mum to clear up after me because thats what mums are for. Kids like me are for having puppies that play computer games and stuff & puppies that sit on my lap when the TV is on so I can say I am busy puppy minding when I am really just watching TV. Kids like me are not designed to look after a fucking puppy that no-one said was going to piss and shit or require feeding.
No one told me I'd have to walk the fucker.
Modern society has not taught me that I have to consider anything other than myself and my selfishness.
It is not my fault that my puppy does not understand this. I did not ask it to love me or need me.
All I ask of it is that it enjoys Spongebob Squarepants and craps on somebody else's watch.
I wish my dad was an alcoholic so he would use my puppy as an excuse to go to the pub every day.
Then I wouldn't have to walk it.
And I might love my dad a bit more even though he was an alcoholic and probably would beat my mum up when he got home from the pub.
A dysfunctional family is a small price to pay for me not having to look after my puppy.