Saturday, 9 October 2010

bootcamp for the broken hearted: Mary Cigarettes.

Sometimes ones thoughts are better expressed by another. 

Turf dancing in Oakland CA: Who those guys are!


this video is doing the rounds over here at the moment. It is an incredible demonstration on a number of levels; not least it is an example what the internet should really be about.


Arty fuckers might call it site specific performance art, White middle aged conservatives might call it threatening because it goes against all of their traditional prejudices when it comes to black youth and specifically male black youth. I just call it magical and inspiring and totally beyond criticism.


Every white adolescent in this country should watch this (all the black kids will know about it anyway); perhaps it may inspire a little more creativity and a little less indolence.  Without doubt it will generate respect!


The dancers are: No Noize (red jacket), Man (black jacket), BJ (striped shirt) and Dreal.  


check out YAK films online; there are more video's:


YAK LIKE YOU KNOW  
YAK began as a production team of young photographers and filmmakers dedicated to youth-led multimedia production which provides a voice for resistance and an alternative to played-out mainstream media. At its core, YAK is a visual wrecking crew built to use every form of expressive multimedia to share the voice of youth in urban America and promote change on every level.

YAK's work with urban dance began with the legendary TURF FEINZ crew from Oakland, CA, innovators of the TUF dancing style. YAK is now evolving to take the lead in the street-based documentation of the global dance movement. We hope to see many more dance crews coming up all around the world and teaming up with new media companies to produce high quality dance videos. We encourage people to start documenting the various dance styles from their neighborhoods, cities and countries.

If you haven't already, join YouTube, subscribe to our channel, add us as a friend, send us a message, show us some videos, rate, comment, follow us on Facebook (search YAKFILMS.com), Twitter @YAKFILMS. We appreciate the support from people all over the world. Be part of the movement.

You can reach us by email at info@YAKFILMS.com  or:  http://www.youtube.com/user/YAKfilms


Many thanks to William Kamroon for replying to my inquiry and providing information on the dancers.  Hopefully we can post more video's in the future.

Great stuff.


Our follow up press release video can be seen here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCtkuGPIts8




Turf; part of the solution.

Since posting that Yak Films turf dance video things have gone a little crazy for all concerned; the video has gone viral; The Huffington Post covered the story linking to this blog, the Guys involved have been getting a lot of attention (quite deservedly) and long may it last.


There is a serious issue here.


Turf dance is being used as a means of resolving disputes where a gun might once have been used; the Dancers, musicians and film makers are openly anti gun crime. Turf is drawing positive attention to a much criticised section of the American population. Turf dance is also being used to express dissatisfaction, grief (R.I.P. 211) and much much more.  


These guys are not the problem; they are part of the solution!

Friday, 8 October 2010

Spiders On Drugs

Rhys Ifans, Howard Marks and Mr Nice.

Mr Nice; the filmed life of Howard Marks (I met him a couple of years ago, he was too stoned to make much sense) starring Rhys Ifans ( I will not under any circumstances spill Cow drinking beans but Rhys did introduce me to the notion of a drinking straw in a carafe of white wine as a beverage option) is released today.... Below is the trailer.


I shall be reviewing it here soon!

Thursday, 7 October 2010

National poetry day poem. Under nurses orders!

To celebrate poetry day and facebook I have produce the first facebook poem.


Send it to a friend.



Andreas Grant It's Putin's birthday!(...and national poetry day)

12 minutes ago ·  · 

    • Tristan Hazell 
      i'm giving up putin it about
      under doctors orders
      i'm sending it all nurses way
      under nurses orders

      bosomly love is the love for me
      under an upside down watch
      which reads the right way
      twice a day
      Oh nurse

      about a minute ago · 

Royal Academy pavement paintings. Ben Wilson.

Christian Banfield spotted these on the pavement outside the royal Academy this morning. They are tiny; 2" diameter.  Can anyone shed light on them?





Photographs: Christian Banfield  http://www.schmick.tv/

UPDATE. November 2013:  It seems they are the work of Ben Wilson. http://foroneweekonly.com/Artists/Ben-Wilson

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Career changes, bosomly love and The palpable wince.

Jan called round today. He is in trouble for all sorts of reasons not least because of the Luz Morales fiasco.


'I am undergoing a career change'.  He stated.


I asked for an explanation. He provided one: ' I am changing the direction in which I am careering uncontrollably Tristan.  I have discovered by accident what goes through the mind of a 15 year old boys Matronly aunt as she spits on her hanky prior to wiping from his mouth the detritus of a hastily eaten fish supper in a Surrey road house car park.'


That. I said, does not sound healthy Jan!


'It is the product of bosomly love Tristan! elderly poets on the brink of their expiry dates are subject to many manifests of bosomly love.  It is a form of bullying. It brings offers of chicken soup (dumplings or no dumplings) and 4 dimensional hugs  But when you get to my age what appears to a schoolboy as a matronly aunt is in fact (in terms of age percentiles) a very hot young babe'.


He went on: 'Bosomly love is causing a massive career change in me Tristan'.


'Bosomly love has me wringing my hands; the hands of a once doubting Thomas when it came to women.... This Thomas is no longer in doubt. this Thomas has seen into Matrons soul'.


when did Luz get her promotion? I asked.


'Yesterday.  She became a matron yesterday!'


The wince is palpable.

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

NHS Scandal of hospital panic buttons connected to buzzer in Spanish Bordello .

It was revealed today that the 'panic button' beside the hospital bed of 112 year old Artist and philosopher Jan Nieupjur actually sounded a buzzer in a Spanish Bordello in Marbella.


Nurse Luz Morales (38 DD) declined to answer questions while posing for photographs.

Who Put the Benzadrine in Mrs Murphys Ovaltine? - Harry "The Hipster" Gi...

Stunning Art Fraud discovered in Paris flat.




A stunning rip off of a newspaper article about a painting was found today in a spurious blog:


Parisian flat containing €2.1 million painting lay untouched for 70 years

For 70 years the Parisian apartment of Jan Nieupjur's favourite squeeze and muse had been left uninhabited, under lock and key, the rent faithfully paid but no hint of what was inside

But when Mona Hebuterne died recently aged 91, experts were tasked with drawing up an inventory of her possessions and homed in on the flat near the Trinité church in Paris between the Pigalle red light district and Opera.
Entering the untouched, cobweb-filled flat in Paris' 9th arrondissement, one expert said it was like stumbling into the castle of Sleeping Beauty, where time had stood still since 1900.
"There was a smell of old dust," said Olivier Cripes-souset, who made the discovery. Walking under high wooden ceilings, past an old wood stove and stone sink in the kitchen, he spotted a stuffed ostrich and a Mickey Mouse toy dating from before the war, as well as an exquisite dressing table.
The stunning painting on the apartment wall

But he said his heart missed a beat when he caught sight of a stunning tableau of a woman in a pink muslin evening dress.
The painting was by Nieupjur and the subject a beautiful Frenchwoman who turned out to be the artist's former muse and daughter of Modigliani who had left the flat uninhabited for more than half a century.
The muse was promiscuous as a she goat, an actress with a long list of ardent admirers, whose fervent love letters she kept wrapped neatly in ribbon and were still on the premises. Among the admirers was the 72nd prime minister of France, George Clemenceau, but also Nieupjur.
The expert had a hunch the painting was by Nieupjur, but could find no record of the painting. "No reference book dedicated to Nieupjur mentioned the tableau, which was never exhibited," said Marcus Rijn Goldiing, the art specialist he consulted about the work.
When Mr Cripes-Souset  found a visiting card with a scribbled love note from Nieupjur, he knew he had struck gold. "We had the link and I was sure at that moment that it was indeed a very fine Nieupjur".
The starting price for the painting was €300,000 but it rocketed as ten bidders vyed for the historic work. Finally it went under the hammer for €2.1 million, a world record for the artist.
"It was a magic moment. One could see that the buyer loved the painting; he paid the price of passion," said Mr  Rijn Goldiing..

Da Vinci invented photography. New evidence emerges.

Proof has recently emerged that Leonardo Da Vinci did indeed invent photography.

Photo: Da Vinci?

The above is a reproduction of a photographic image found in a recently discovered folio of Da Vinci drawings. It has the name 'Gabriel' written on the reverse. 

                                                                  Illustration: Da Vinci

Bella's Emporium and the Sloane Club

By far my favourite stall on Portobello market is Bella's; she is situated in the alley bit (Portobello Green) between Portobello Road and Ladbroke Grove on Saturdays, Bella  sells silver jewelry she has sourced from around the world.


I go along to chat and be seen. It is THE place for that!


Today Bella is at:



MANDY BARBER’S AUTUMN BAZAAR 2010 AT THE SLOANE CLUB

Sunday, 3 October 2010

Perils of facebook role play.

Gretchen Merrywidow (not her real name) whiles away her life on the interweb masquerading as Jane Smith; grey house wife.


Jane Smith has a facebook page where she discusses grey matters with like minded fantasists, sexual predators, lunatics, voyeurs, paedophiles and bank managers.  It is making Gretchen quite ill; she is losing sight of the fact that she is a Swiss nymphomaniac living on a diet of alpine meadows, chocolate and priapic leiderhosed goatherds.


Gretchen has learned the hard way that this kind of fantasy is only healthy in fiction; she has killed Jane Grey. She will be herself in future.


facebook allows all the perverts, sad fucks and losers to enter into a dialogue; this should not be allowed.  EVER! I never allow a friending to take place without having met the person concerned or having had a personal recommendation from a trusted friend.


On this blog, which started life as Jan Nieupjur's blog (until I wrenched it from him and 'fessed up') I vet all comments and never, never enter into dialogue with comment posters; even people well known to me and trusted.


This is the Cardinal Rule of interwebbery of this ilk.


I shall be writing on this subject again.