Jan can be insufferable.
He has ( and at his age it is rather unpleasant) found a new muse; she is a Spanish seamstress and burlesque artiste apparently. And a third his age. Her name is Luz Morales; I asked Jan how they met. He told me this tale:
"I was round at Rusty's the other day. He had asked me to help with some adjustments he was making to a pear pie recipe; not enough almond was my opinion. While the trial pie was baking we got to drinking and talking and drinking and talking among men invariably leads to drinking and talking about women.
We got to talking about women while we were drinking.
Rusty is still hanging around burlesque stage doors in the hope of catching Babs ( I haven't got the heart to tell him that Babs is living on a dude ranch in Calgary with an oil sands miner). anyway Rusty was in Soho hanging around bars and clubs as usual when he caught sight of a charming young lady in a skimpy outfit handing out flyers. He got one of those flyers; it was for a burlesque club in Madrid called Ta Ta Tristesse, the girl photographed on the flyer was stunning wearing a tiny matador type ensemble and teasing a stuffed bull.
I knew at once she was the one! I rushed home, called Fluente (he is in Madrid on a Mexican waving tour) and asked him to check her out; he did, got her email address, I emailed her, we became great friends immediately.
I plan to visit her soon"!
He then took a photograph from his pocket. "Here". He said. "Ain't she something".
Whatever comes to mind before I alter it with the overpaint of time. Mostly satire, poetry and fiction but occasional unreliable fact, as all facts seems to be today. From deepest Notting Hill. London.
Friday, 1 October 2010
Wednesday, 29 September 2010
Beat at Charlie Wright's. The comeback tour begins.
I shall be doing some poems at BEAT on Monday the 4th of October. Please come along. I have a feeling it will be a good night:
BEAT:
This time around, BEAT stomps up a wide range of brilliant male beasts and some lovely, hugely talented, ladies, for a night that could just be something out of the ordinary. It's free to get in but it might cost you a few braincells to get out! BEAT - a poetry night like no other lines up: Amy Acre - lovely, hugely talented, brilliant wordsmith and performer Tristan Hazell - the beast of Nothing Hill promises to hit you with some flamingly hot material Nial Spooner - Harvey - brings the unique to unique performance poetry Captain of the Rant - angry, topical, political - just the way we like it Michelle Madsen - when she's not conjuring up her special brand of laid back, humorous scribblings, Michelle also finds time to co - run legendary London poetry night - Hammer & Tongue Heaven Afrika - our new kid on the block + your twinkled eyed little host, Dr Martin(aka Mr Grant) |
Charlie Wright's 45 Pitfield Street, N1 6DA London, United Kingdom |
The secrets of magic.
Things started getting out of hand when the dog got run down in the street out side our window. She had watched it happen and when I got in from work she was standing there in tears. I held her for a while then took her to bed.
I’d first seen her in Stanley Park one afternoon when a bunch of us were sitting around with guitars, playing whatever came into our heads and generally fooling about. A number of kids had congregated to catch the mood and catch the sun, she sat away from the others under the shade of a tree; long thick hair the color of new pennies burning against almost white skin. She wore a green summer dress and red Converse.
I knew she was there but not really there until Gus came along in a daze, stood among us and announced Kurt Cobain was dead. For real! Shot himself in the head and was dead! I looked at her then, alone under that tree; tears running black from her eyeliner. I told myself she needed comfort only really it was me who needed her. So I went to her and held her. She sobbed into my white t-shirt.
We practically stayed like that for the rest of the day, talking about Kurt and singing his songs. Then somebody played ‘In Memory of a Free Festival’ on his boom box and after that the only thing to do was go home or someplace else.
She came back to my place.
We ate pizza and listened to Nirvana CD’s while she cried some more. She laughed when I told her she looked like a clown with her make-up running. We kissed before she left me knowing I would see her again.
Soon we were living together and making plans. Sex wasn’t that great but I put that down to anything I could think of except the truth. I wasn’t going anywhere near the truth back then.
After the dog I started to find more ways to make her cry so I could comfort her. During the day I would make up sad stories to tell her at night. And I would buy her eyeliner and mascara, the cheap stuff that ran, and encourage her to use it.
But I should never have told her about the clown.
.
They found her on the sidewalk, crumpled and broken, except for her face, which, undamaged by the 30 foot fall from the window, she’d made up like a clown’s. Bright red mouth – I’d never known her to wear lipstick - and thick black weep lines running from her eyes. She had cropped her hair. Gelled it so it stood up like a fright wig.
Just like Bepo the clown who at my 8th birthday party led me into the cellar to show me the secrets of magic.
I’d first seen her in Stanley Park one afternoon when a bunch of us were sitting around with guitars, playing whatever came into our heads and generally fooling about. A number of kids had congregated to catch the mood and catch the sun, she sat away from the others under the shade of a tree; long thick hair the color of new pennies burning against almost white skin. She wore a green summer dress and red Converse.
I knew she was there but not really there until Gus came along in a daze, stood among us and announced Kurt Cobain was dead. For real! Shot himself in the head and was dead! I looked at her then, alone under that tree; tears running black from her eyeliner. I told myself she needed comfort only really it was me who needed her. So I went to her and held her. She sobbed into my white t-shirt.
We practically stayed like that for the rest of the day, talking about Kurt and singing his songs. Then somebody played ‘In Memory of a Free Festival’ on his boom box and after that the only thing to do was go home or someplace else.
She came back to my place.
We ate pizza and listened to Nirvana CD’s while she cried some more. She laughed when I told her she looked like a clown with her make-up running. We kissed before she left me knowing I would see her again.
Soon we were living together and making plans. Sex wasn’t that great but I put that down to anything I could think of except the truth. I wasn’t going anywhere near the truth back then.
After the dog I started to find more ways to make her cry so I could comfort her. During the day I would make up sad stories to tell her at night. And I would buy her eyeliner and mascara, the cheap stuff that ran, and encourage her to use it.
But I should never have told her about the clown.
.
They found her on the sidewalk, crumpled and broken, except for her face, which, undamaged by the 30 foot fall from the window, she’d made up like a clown’s. Bright red mouth – I’d never known her to wear lipstick - and thick black weep lines running from her eyes. She had cropped her hair. Gelled it so it stood up like a fright wig.
Just like Bepo the clown who at my 8th birthday party led me into the cellar to show me the secrets of magic.
This is an extract from:http://tristanssecretsofmagic.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
John Sweeney 'Loose Tomato' Scientology shock! Why has the BBC been silent?
The following is a press release from the Scientologist sect. It was personalised and emailed to journalists at the BBC today...
MONDAY, 27 SEPTEMBER 2010
Re: How the BBC fools the public with their fake investigations
In May 2007 BBC Panorama reporter John Sweeney achieved global renown as the infamous “exploding tomato,” uncontrollably losing his head and screaming insanely at the chief spokesperson for the Church of Scientology. (Watch the video Panorama Exposed at www.freedommag.org.)
Stunningly, three and a half years later, on Tuesday, 28 September, Panorama’s John Sweeney will again report on the Church of Scientology. But just what dubious methods does Mr. Sweeney use in his so-called “investigation”? And what on earth could have prompted the BBC to fund a programme which could only be an attempt for Mr. Sweeney to recover the unrecoverable—his reputation.
Find out why Sweeney’s “investigation” is now the subject of a new documentary programme released internationally today by Freedom Magazine at www.freedommag.org.
We welcome your feedback on the video and any information you may want to share with us on John Sweeney’s BBC Panorama Scientology “investigation.” We would also be interested in whether you think John Sweeney’s programme warranted the expenditure and if his report was in fact balanced or fair. Please be assured that if you so request, your identity will be kept confidential.
Yours sincerely,
Freedom Editor
Oh, and if John Sweeney is such a 'loose tomato' why is the sect spending time trying to discredit him? Coincidentally John Sweeney is on the BBC breakfast news this morning!
It would be interesting to hear the reasons for the BBC remaining rather quiet about this...
Monday, 27 September 2010
supperclub London. Best Restaurant Bar Award @ London Club & Bar Awards
I was invited to supperclub by the Playlister boys; Ben and Dan. I had expected to not enjoy the place but was pleasantly surprised. And Femi Fem is cool.
check it out! I'd go again. It is of course (the Dutch chef I guess) Jan Nieupjur's favourite night spot!
Join DJs Femi Fem and Sam Hanbali for a truly fun, sassy scene for an enigmatic crowd ready
to party & relax. , Bow the Dutch Chef, Burlesque show La Gateau
Chocolat. You have to experience supperclub London live; a most
welcoming service, the best food, performance & dj's ...
check it out! I'd go again. It is of course (the Dutch chef I guess) Jan Nieupjur's favourite night spot!
Join DJs Femi Fem and Sam Hanbali for a truly fun, sassy scene for an enigmatic crowd ready
to party & relax. , Bow the Dutch Chef, Burlesque show La Gateau
Chocolat. You have to experience supperclub London live; a most
welcoming service, the best food, performance & dj's ...
I'm giving cocaine to a child this Christmas!
Unlike puppies children are Just for Christmas.
Each year millions of us give pointless rubbish to children (invariably the nauseating, spoiled offspring of friends and family) in the name of Jesus Christ. Children do not need the stuff; of course they want the stuff, that is what children do; they want stuff, but they do not need it. No-one needs it.
Some stuff is needed by children; invariably it is the stuff that no-one wants to buy children because no-one wants reminding that there are poor kids whose lives could be made dramatically improved by a fairly small donation from You. Or me.
I have noticed that the coke heads of Notting Hill do not talk much about needy children... they talk about needy coke heads; the need to score, the need to talk about self.They talk about etc etc etc.
Let's change all that! This autumn I am campaigning for all coke heads to give the cost of one gramme of Colombian to a Burmese orphanage. Cool eh! Because once you have done it you can talk about your generosity for months ahead; Wow! And even if you are not a coke head you could give the cost of a gramme of MDMA, or the price of a bottle of poo (poo is Notting Hill for Champagne) or even the price of six pairs of socks as you don't seem to wear any under your penny loafers.
To make it even cooler I have come up with an edgy name for the act:
I'M GIVING COCAINE TO A CHILD THIS CHRISTMAS!
I need to get some badges made and then identify the right orphanages and stuff like that but I think this might work.
Yes let's all say it together: I'M GIVING MY COCAINE TO A CHILD THIS CHRISTMAS!
Each year millions of us give pointless rubbish to children (invariably the nauseating, spoiled offspring of friends and family) in the name of Jesus Christ. Children do not need the stuff; of course they want the stuff, that is what children do; they want stuff, but they do not need it. No-one needs it.
Some stuff is needed by children; invariably it is the stuff that no-one wants to buy children because no-one wants reminding that there are poor kids whose lives could be made dramatically improved by a fairly small donation from You. Or me.
Burmese orphan
Let's change all that! This autumn I am campaigning for all coke heads to give the cost of one gramme of Colombian to a Burmese orphanage. Cool eh! Because once you have done it you can talk about your generosity for months ahead; Wow! And even if you are not a coke head you could give the cost of a gramme of MDMA, or the price of a bottle of poo (poo is Notting Hill for Champagne) or even the price of six pairs of socks as you don't seem to wear any under your penny loafers.
To make it even cooler I have come up with an edgy name for the act:
I'M GIVING COCAINE TO A CHILD THIS CHRISTMAS!
I need to get some badges made and then identify the right orphanages and stuff like that but I think this might work.
Yes let's all say it together: I'M GIVING MY COCAINE TO A CHILD THIS CHRISTMAS!
A poem in honour of the Papal visit...
Tristan Hazell: Secrets of magic: God comes to a child in a dream.
Click here: Tristan Hazell: Secrets of magic: God comes to a child in a dream.: "Visiting a childrens cancer ward in my capacity as poet I knelt beside a bald headed child studiously writing tongue out deep in concentrati..."
Click here: Tristan Hazell: Secrets of magic: God comes to a child in a dream.: "Visiting a childrens cancer ward in my capacity as poet I knelt beside a bald headed child studiously writing tongue out deep in concentrati..."
Sunday, 26 September 2010
Anne Pigalle.
Check out Anne's website: http:// www.annepigalle.com/ Anne is on my list of people to see before I get much older.
Jan Nieupjur: Notting Hill personality of the year?
Please vote for Jan.... It will save the lives of millions of babies, make you beautiful and other things like that probably.
Jan has been nominated for this award as a result of his tireless campaigning against the Notting Hill promise of coke fuelled vacuity. Go here, click the button, make a difference: http://www.mynottinghill.co.uk/article/vote09
In the bottom box you need to write: Jan Nieupjur. Pre-Pentimento.
thank you
Jan has been nominated for this award as a result of his tireless campaigning against the Notting Hill promise of coke fuelled vacuity. Go here, click the button, make a difference: http://www.mynottinghill.co.uk/article/vote09
In the bottom box you need to write: Jan Nieupjur. Pre-Pentimento.
thank you
Saturday, 25 September 2010
Crapsurf report from Sennen cove
Ain't the interweb amazing! I will now be showing the Crapsurf video reports live on this blog.
Jan, dripping and Crapsurfer.
Jan called round this morning. I awoke to find him nervously eyeing the vacuum cleaner.
Neither of us was inclined to switch it on.
I made him breakfast... Hamburger, egg, sauteed potatoes all cooked in beef dripping. Traditionally this ensemble requires baked beans but neither of us could be arsed to go downstairs to the shop so we did without. Jan said:
'Apparently there are millions of unfortunate people in this country who do not have a corner shop underneath them. How sad'.
He went on to thank me for the splendid meal; the likes of which the politically correct will never taste. Poor fools.
I do sense however that beneath his veneer of jocularity Jan is not feeling well today. He is after all very old and should be taking things easy.
Today I became a Crapsurfer. http://www.crapsurfer.com/
By the way. If you don't know how to spell a word just put a capital letter on it and the Spellcheck thing will leave you alone.
Neither of us was inclined to switch it on.
I made him breakfast... Hamburger, egg, sauteed potatoes all cooked in beef dripping. Traditionally this ensemble requires baked beans but neither of us could be arsed to go downstairs to the shop so we did without. Jan said:
'Apparently there are millions of unfortunate people in this country who do not have a corner shop underneath them. How sad'.
He went on to thank me for the splendid meal; the likes of which the politically correct will never taste. Poor fools.
I do sense however that beneath his veneer of jocularity Jan is not feeling well today. He is after all very old and should be taking things easy.
Today I became a Crapsurfer. http://www.crapsurfer.com/
By the way. If you don't know how to spell a word just put a capital letter on it and the Spellcheck thing will leave you alone.
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