Excremental verse.

She said write me a poem
anything will do
I don't care if it is doggerel

I said I can't I am stuck
and the baby's eaten my paper
she said: Just write the fucker 

on bog roll

I said it'll be crap
tissue can't hold a rhyme

She said its 

super 

soft 

absorbent 

quilted 

pockets 

are just the job for your shit

and I've always wanted to wipe my arse on a poem.