Satire. Any resemblance to you is entirely down to your sense of self importance.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Kimberley festival Norfolk, drugs and the Notting Hill promise.




















It must be Kimberley weekend coming up: there isn't a drug dealer to be seen in Notting Hill and the Hillbillies are all dressing alike to be different.  It is of course the lead up to the time of the year when 30 and 40 somethings die in their sleep due to excess drug use but their wives/mistresses/family put down to work or depression or not being understood!

It is however the perfect occasion to shag someone  while their partner is off his/her face on horse pills and MDMA in a tent.

Shhhhhhh... Don't tell anyone. It's secret!



The jeweller to the stars.

They are waiting in the cafes
the restaurants and bars
or parked on unlit corners
in expensive cars
they are waiting for the snowman, the blow man, the let's go man
they are waiting, waiting, waiting
for the jeweller to the stars.

He is the closest thing to royalty
their business is all his
with his bags of herbert sherbert
(the silly rich mans whizz)
he makes them feel quite special
and just a
little
bit
show biz
they are guaranteed to talk the talk
walk the walk as well
he is the pied piper
the piper at the gates of hell.

White christmas is his ringtone
on his prepay mobile phone
his sole visible means of support
the long suffering wife at home
he is the king of the powder rooms
his shit it smells of roses
to the vacuous trustafarians
born
with
silver spoons up their noses.

He is known to each and every one
the jeweller to the stars
he hasn't got a friend on earth
and there ain't no life on mars.

9 comments:

  1. I had the pleasure of visiting the "prestigious" Kimberly festival this summer. I worked there (as your average joe soap) and I must say, it was an absolute pleasure! I had the same preconceptions as you before I arrived, but once the party kicked off....I must say, I never met such a beautiful bunch of people.
    There was no ego....that was knocked out of everyone within the first 2 hours in the place. I found most people there to be really friendly. The world is what you make it....if you look at life with positivity you receive positivity.

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  2. Good to have some positive feedback. but it is not prestigious, it is just elitist.

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    1. It is elitist but friendly. I went there years ago west London working class bloke and met north London working class blokes as well as a few middle class wankers but nice wankers - an amazing party - incredible light shows, 100% wastage factor by end of evening/morning

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  3. I've been to it three times too and it's one of the most special weekends of the year. Who cares if it's elitist? It's a private party paid for by the people who attend and no-one's expected to go who doesn't want to.

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  4. I have also been to this festival and believe me it is soooo special and amazing, cant wait to go again this year!

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  5. I have been every year since i was born... and in my mum's tummy. It's so much fun and i always look forward to it. :)

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  6. Bunch of bloody idiots shhh-ing all over social networking sites don't seem to realize that their so called special events be it in Asia or Europe are creating boundaries that these types of gatherings are supposed to break down!
    Elitist hypocrites doing their best to create love and peace for the choosen ones in the false belief they are "beautiful people"

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  7. The annual event is called the 'gravers' by some people we know, it has been going so long! But apparently has now come to end due to a tremendous falling out. Rumours abound that the venue owners were sick of increasingly excessive drug taking and casualties, and even worse apparently one of the main female organisers (a well known swinger) was caught cavorting with a husband related to the same family! All very scandalous, fascinating gossip!

    Suffice to say we had a great time when we attended two years ago! Wondering where to go next year.

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  8. Just came across this - I've also heard Kimberley Festival / Party called the "gravers" but mostly because the people that go to it these days have got so old ...

    ... just like the House of Honey parties that have been spun off from it. Went to a Valentine's Party the other week in London and the average age must have been well over 50 ... there's nothing wrong with partying at that age of course but if you're not expecting it, it's a real let-down.

    House of Honey are attempting to hold their own Kimberley type party this summer but it's at a crappy site in Kent ... way too close to Tunbridge Wells where the locals definitely don't tolerate Kimberley type parties ... definitely won't be the same ... I went to their "Harvest" party there in September and the atmosphere wasn't anything to write home about. Unlike Kimbo, there's no "house" to party in, just a field (full of pot-holes!) - take my advice and avoid it, sadly.

    As for swinger antics at Kimberley '11, that's being going on for years up there ... it was half of the point of going along!!

    I agree that the drugs have become way too much at both the House of Honey and Kimberley parties. If only one could turn the clock back a couple of years (and more), it would be great but I guess that's not gonna happen. It's a shame that it's over now - guess it's time for us all to move onto somewhere new!

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