Tuesday 22 January 2013
Saturday 19 January 2013
Phallic symbol shrinks as snow hits Notting Hill.
Yep! It's a Ferrari!
Last week a 654 Priapus GT. This week, after the snow, a tiny shrivelled up thing!
Thursday 17 January 2013
Tesco introducing Naggis for Burns night!
I have hear that after the publicity gained from the horse burger scandal Tescos is to introduce it's own take on haggis with the 'Naggis'*.
My only concern is that due to the size of a horses bladder it will be unsuitable for small Burns night gatherings.
I am currently working on my 'Address to a Naggis' and will post it in due course.
*Naggis: a horses bladder stuffed with equine odds and ends mixed with oats.
My only concern is that due to the size of a horses bladder it will be unsuitable for small Burns night gatherings.
I am currently working on my 'Address to a Naggis' and will post it in due course.
*Naggis: a horses bladder stuffed with equine odds and ends mixed with oats.
Horse looking for mum in Tescos
I don't know what all the fuss is about... Surely eating horse is no different from eating cow or pig. In fact I think I would rather eat a horse than a pig, horses don't eat shit!
Monday 14 January 2013
30 something skateboard dude.
You see him under the west way
you see him in the park
he hangs out in Meanwhile Gardens
and in the Piazza after dark
He clatters down the pavement
clack clack clack clack clack
i pod and spare hoodie
bijou back packed on his back
He likes Zep and AC/DC
plays bass in a garage band
dreams of St Moritz snow
and black Hawaiian sand
He talks of ramps and half pipes
his half pipes all half full
of verts and nailed 360's
and all that kind of bull
He lives at home with mum and dad
works in the video store
doesn't have a social life
so he can skateboard more
He's the 30 something skateboard dude
the medieval slacker
the ever moving obstacle
the clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack clack
clack clack clack clack clacker
Tuesday 8 January 2013
The Dutch are coming! Ramsey Nasr.
My aged guru Jan Nieupjur alerted me to this event. It should be interesting. Included in the line up is dutch Poet Ramsey Nasr alongside numerous other members of the Low Countries literati. Details of the Tabernacle event which hosts the final event: HERE
Orlando Seale & the Swell + Tom Robinson at the Tabernacle.
Orlando and his band are great! Here is a chance to catch him in Notting Hill along with Tom Robinson.
Details HERE
Saturday 5 January 2013
Postcards from Portobello No: 432 Kieth. Angry Keith?
I found this written in chalk underneath the Westway at Portobello Green. Kieth looks angry... Maybe because whoever done it can't even spell his name right.
Tuesday 1 January 2013
The Kindle scam.
Amazon are a nasty bunch. They are selling kindles like hot cakes to the masses and the masses are buying them thinking that it is in order to read books on them. But the facility to download literature is not what the Kindle is about. It is far more nasty than that!
When reading the following bear in mind that Kindles are being given, as presents, to very, very young children on the assumption that it will encourage reading:
Christmas day; little Pete opens his present from granny, whoopee! A Kindle. But what's this? First he must register with amazon which requires an email address. Okay, lets open an email account for the darling little five year old then register with Amazon. Okay done let's now have a look at what Kindle will do.... Oooooh look mummy I can play games on my new present, can I download 'Angry birds'?
Uncle Dave gave little Pete a £25 voucher from Amazon which is credited to his account. Little Pete blows £23.45 on game downloads without the thought of a book. Little Pete is a little too young to read a book let alone realise that he is being conditioned by Amazon!
Uncle Dave looks for books that may be borrowed from the Kindle library (one of the selling points of the thing) but finds he must activate a free trial to the 'Prime' club thing before little Pete can borrow a book. He must provide credit card details among other things in order to take up the free months 'trial' membership. At the end of the month he must remember to terminate the membership otherwise Amazon will be stripping out of the card account nearly £50.00 per annum which is the actual cost of being allowed to borrow 1 book per month. that is not borrowing. That is hiring a book a month at the cost of £4.00 per book. Little Pete and his family are being fleeced.
Meanwhile little Pete, without a single book being downloaded, is playing games like there is no tomorrow and while he is playing games he is being bombarded with pop up ads from Amazon. Ads for all sorts of things useful to Pete such as motorcars and insurance.
This brings us to the central purpose of the Kindle: It is an Amazon shop in your home, marketing amazon products constantly and as they have your card details every purchase is just a click away. It is like living with a pushy salesman 24 hours a day!
By the 1st of January little Pete is doing 8 hours of game playing on his Kindle, Mummy is delighted that he is occupied while she gets pissed on baileys and watches re-runs of sex in the city. She tells Gran: 'It's like having a free nanny'! All the while she is conning herself that little Pete is doing something EDUCATIONAL rather than rapidly acquiring behavioral problems, obesity and long term damage to his hands and wrists.
QUESTION: Why can I not remove Amazons 'Silk' and 'IMDb' apps from the Kindle thereby making it safe for children?
QUESTION: Why are amazon allowed to push unsuitable products on small children in this way. Why are they not obliged to market a product designed for kids without the advertising and without the need to register with card details?
Parents, you are paying large sums of money for nothing more than the packaging. The Kindle is the IT equivalent of an empty cornflakes packet which can be filled in future by subscription only.
'SUCKERS' is probably the most frequently used term at Amazon HQ!
IT IS ALSO IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THAT AMAZON PAY ALMOST NO TAX ON UK SALES...
When reading the following bear in mind that Kindles are being given, as presents, to very, very young children on the assumption that it will encourage reading:
Christmas day; little Pete opens his present from granny, whoopee! A Kindle. But what's this? First he must register with amazon which requires an email address. Okay, lets open an email account for the darling little five year old then register with Amazon. Okay done let's now have a look at what Kindle will do.... Oooooh look mummy I can play games on my new present, can I download 'Angry birds'?
Uncle Dave gave little Pete a £25 voucher from Amazon which is credited to his account. Little Pete blows £23.45 on game downloads without the thought of a book. Little Pete is a little too young to read a book let alone realise that he is being conditioned by Amazon!
Uncle Dave looks for books that may be borrowed from the Kindle library (one of the selling points of the thing) but finds he must activate a free trial to the 'Prime' club thing before little Pete can borrow a book. He must provide credit card details among other things in order to take up the free months 'trial' membership. At the end of the month he must remember to terminate the membership otherwise Amazon will be stripping out of the card account nearly £50.00 per annum which is the actual cost of being allowed to borrow 1 book per month. that is not borrowing. That is hiring a book a month at the cost of £4.00 per book. Little Pete and his family are being fleeced.
Meanwhile little Pete, without a single book being downloaded, is playing games like there is no tomorrow and while he is playing games he is being bombarded with pop up ads from Amazon. Ads for all sorts of things useful to Pete such as motorcars and insurance.
This brings us to the central purpose of the Kindle: It is an Amazon shop in your home, marketing amazon products constantly and as they have your card details every purchase is just a click away. It is like living with a pushy salesman 24 hours a day!
By the 1st of January little Pete is doing 8 hours of game playing on his Kindle, Mummy is delighted that he is occupied while she gets pissed on baileys and watches re-runs of sex in the city. She tells Gran: 'It's like having a free nanny'! All the while she is conning herself that little Pete is doing something EDUCATIONAL rather than rapidly acquiring behavioral problems, obesity and long term damage to his hands and wrists.
QUESTION: Why can I not remove Amazons 'Silk' and 'IMDb' apps from the Kindle thereby making it safe for children?
QUESTION: Why are amazon allowed to push unsuitable products on small children in this way. Why are they not obliged to market a product designed for kids without the advertising and without the need to register with card details?
Parents, you are paying large sums of money for nothing more than the packaging. The Kindle is the IT equivalent of an empty cornflakes packet which can be filled in future by subscription only.
'SUCKERS' is probably the most frequently used term at Amazon HQ!
IT IS ALSO IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER THAT AMAZON PAY ALMOST NO TAX ON UK SALES...
Saturday 22 December 2012
Portobello Christmas card: Christmas reunion
Chris Durkin, myself and Hugo Burnham meeting for the first time since 1967! I'd found Chris living down the road from me a few years back but Hugo had moved to a place called America.
It was a splendid evening and one to be repeated I hope.
Happy Christmas.
Thursday 20 December 2012
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