One way of looking at the danger of gum.

Jan called round today for a glass or two. there was a pack of gum on the desk, not my gum I hasten to add but gum left by a visiting Legionella tester (don't ask, long story).

Jan said: 'I bullied my kids, and in order to bamboozle them about drugs n stuff. I told them they could do anything but chew gum, gum was out of bounds, beyond the pale, gum was, let's face it, infra dig. do smack I said, do booze, smoke 80 Kapstan full strength a day I said. But do not do gum I said.  My theory was that they would eschew the drugs of my choice and go for the one I abhorred. I believed that they would chew gum above any other vice to poo poo me.'

Did it work I asked Jan.

'No'. He said. 'One of my sons is an alcoholic, another a junkie and the third is dying of emphysemia.'

'At least'. I said. 'none of them died choking on chewing gum'.

'No'. He said, and then went on: 'But if a child is going to predecease a parent the child should have the good sense to get it over and done with quick. Parents spend most of their lives worrying about their children's ability to live unparented instead of enjoying drugs and stuff like that:.

Architectural eyesore and everything that is wrong with modernism on Westbourne Park Road.

A guest blog by Jan Nieupjur.


As usual Jan's views are not necessarily mine




It has been there for a while. you must have seen it; the piece of 'modern' architecture on the corner of Basing Street and Westbourne Park Road.

Cripes!

If this is modern god help us. If this is 'Purist' god help us. If this is good architecture god help us.

As the founding father of 'Nieupurism' I am horrified by this upended shoebox with applied faux Puginesque perpendicular wooden bits; a cross between a Morris Traveller and a 40's mock tudor semi in Harrow without an original idea or a spark of excitement.


The build quality too is risible; We have no contractors in this country that can handle modernism due to our ridiculous planning bullies and our collective refusal to embrace anything other than period pastiche. There is already damage to the flimsy, thin set lower walls and it can only deteriorate.

As I started to photograph the building a crow perched on the CCTV camera on the corner cawed loudly, crapped then flew off; a sure indication of Le Corbusiers feelings about this carbuncle. Ed's note: This is a pretentious in joke and play on corb's (the crow) nickname.


In terms of fitting in with the environment, physical, social and economical, the beautifully graffiti adorned wasteland corner was always going to be impossible to beat.

On a final, sad note I see that the occupiers of the building have decided to eschew the minimalist ideals and fill the windows with  swags and tails and clutter. It is an eyesore at best. It looks like a derelict charity shop.

A pint for the inner woman on World women's Day.

World Women's day today... I'm giving Michelle my inner woman free rein as well as buying her a pint!

The fish Pond on Portobello Road... Gone!

It wasn't the best chip shop in the world but it was useful, which cannot be said about yet another 'emperor's new clothes shop' that will more than likely replace it!  Rumours abound about what exactly is going to happen in this stretch of the road, especially the Poundshop site. there is talk of a major high street clothing store moving in. The name 'Urban Outfitters' has been bandied about.

Another nail in the coffin then.

I'm Bound To Pack It Up.

An avante-garde version of the original White Stripes song. Track #2 on the album Aluminium released in 2006.

Murray Lachlan Young and harp.

A very rare photograph of the poet Murray Lachlan Young warming up for St David's Day with harp. 

St David's day.

Mr Pounce the Barrister put on a slap up leg of lamb yesterday to celebrate the patron saint of Wales (the United Kingdom's only home grown saint). The Fragrant Wilhelmina was of course present as was a flag, daffodils, welsh cakes hand made by the Princess of muses and great cheer.

Goodbye Tesco disco.

This morning I noticed that 'Tesco Disco', the Balkan drinking den on Portobello was being ripped apart. 

Tesco Disco was where you went when everything else was closed and a drink was essential. It was an edgy place at times.

Sad to see another piece of Portobello go.


Apparently it is going to become an Italian Restaurant, hopefully not another pizza place.

UPDATE. May 2013.

Well what do you know! It is another pizza place but a good one! Review of sorts HERE

The Ryan O'Reilly Band on Lake Como.

Whjat a great photo.

These Reigning Days at Barfly.

I saw this band earlier in the year at the Elgin. I'm going to see them at Barfly on Tuesday. I see no reason why you should not do otherwise... You'll be pissed off if you don't.

Naked skull.

I cannot find anyone to credit for this... Wish I could!

Sunday High Noon with the kids... Bloody Mary anyone?

Sunday afternoons from midday at Supperclub might be the answer!

High Noon Free Entry.....a place to come chill, read the papers, kids
menu, facepainting, entertainment, games, movie, kids encouraged to
come in a western theme, pram park, skate park next door.......DJ
Konal, great music, Bloody Mary Bar, great brunch menu.

ENO 'Death of Klinghoffer' at the Coliseum.

10.00 am I was at the coliseum in London for the dress rehearsal of the controversial opera ' Death of Klinghoffer'. An odd time for opera, but perhaps the ENO thought it wise to stage it then to avoid the possibility of demonstrations against it; 10.00 am is far too early for demonstrators to do anything other than rail against the alarm clock. On its debut the opera attracted an amount of complaints due to it's subject matter. The opera centres on the 1985 hijacking of the Italian cruise ship Achille Lauro by the Palestinian Liberation Organisation. The hijackers killed one of the passengers, a retired, wheelchair-bound 69-year-old American Jew named Leon Klinghoffer. Goodman's script imagines what happened on the ship.

The English National Opera (ENO) is putting on seven performances of the opera at the London Coliseum over two weeks. It is being directed by Tom Morris, best known as the co-director of The National Theatre's smash-hit adaptation of War Horse and helming the controversial musical satire Jerry Springer: The Opera.

Originally opening in Brussels in 1991, the opera courted controversy even before a single note of John Adam's music was heard. Critics condemned the artistic merit of the play, questioning whether art should be made out of a tragic incident. 

From what I saw and heard this morning I can only assume that the piece relies on controversy rather than content. Sure it was good enough, save a weird disco-beat moment, but there was nothing there to captivate, no character to empathize with, no romance and no great songs. the best of it was to my mind the hard working chorus who had the biggest role... It was disappointing to note that, in the blurb handed out pre-show, the production team got name checks down to assistant hair and make-up and the women altering and dyeing the frocks whereas the chorus were left un-credited. Very odd indeed.

Alan Opie, playing Leon Klinghoffer holds a grenade during the dress rehearsal Photo By DYLAN MARTINEZ/REUTERS

The set relied heavily on projections with bits of deck and superstructure wheeled on and off during the production, Is that normal in opera?

The band was great, I sometimes felt that the singing detracted from my enjoyment of the music. The libretto was clunky and decidedly un-lyrical (something one can tolerate in work translated from German or Italian but disappointing in a work written in English), I am by no means an expert but as a poet I hankered after a bit of poetry. I was expecting gun shots so was not surprised by them apart from the moment when the harpists string broke with an unscripted bang.

All in all interesting to witness rather than a great joy or great art. More like a wacky modern history lesson with music. 


Have I said that I enjoyed the chorus?


This is what Rabbi Shmuley Boteach has to say about it in the Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rabbi-shmuley-boteach/does-the-english-national_b_1273025.html
In case you were wondering, Shmuley is the bloke who brought us 'Kosher Sex: A recipe for passion and intimacy'. People often ask me if I make stuff up, with material like this I don't have to.