Taking the piss (or not) on Talbot Road.

Clochemerle comes to Portobello Road.

Last week the Mayor, armed with a brass band, opened the newly refurbished lavatories on Talbot road. I now learn that the loo's will only be open at the weekend for the tourists. What about the Market traders and the locals who use Portobello road throughout the week?

The elements of French Farce are congregating on Talbot road.

Taking (or not taking) the piss or what?

From the Archives. Self portrait.

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2008

Self portrait
The middle child.

As a young child I was given my own set of plastic tableware: plate bowl and beaker. these objects were yellow! I did not chose the colour yellow, I was told that the yellow ones were mine. From then onwards I would frequently be given yellow things; toys, clothes and the like. These objects were accompanied by the statement that yellow was my favourite colour, that had I the choice I would have opted for the yellow.

Yellow was not not my favourite colour. I would be hard pressed to name a favourite; I was never given the opportunity nor the luxury! I have a feeling that the colour was assigned to me in some kind of attempt to introduce a little brightness into an already dark and troubled child.

Even now, years later, if I am asked what my favourite colour is I am instinctively drawn to the word yellow... not to the colour but the word, as if yellow means favourite.

twenty years ago I made a picture of my childhood; It said everything I wanted or needed to say. It was both a portrait and a summary.
It consisted of a glazed, shallow wooden box. the box was lined with silver leaf upon which were placed a black and white image of myself aged three alongside a yellow plastic spoon (which I had taken from the Hayward gallery cafe; the artistic integrity of the object was important). The outside of the box was wrapped in mattress ticking to emphasise the comfortable environment that I appeared to inhabit. Unseen to the observer the back of the box was covered with an image of a mass of writhing snakes.

The choice of the plastic spoon was important in that accurately represented MY own self-regard; It was a valueless disposable item, even the colour was chosen on my behalf yet within its context it is transformed into something lyrical and poetic in its use of metaphor!
Something of no value is suddenly imbued with emotional importance. It has something to say. the rest of the symbolism is hackneyed and obvious but no less important for that.

This image was the first of a series of portraits using plastic cutlery of various colours, all taken from art galleries to ensure the Artistic integrity, culminating in a self portrait as a black plastic spoon. This consisted of nothing more than the spoon (from Tate Modern) mounted on a stark white wall! Again the cheapness and ephemeral nature of the object was central to the work. The black is self explanatory and its placement: Unbounded, in a vast white nothingness emphasised the lonliness and insularity of the depressions I had been subjected to from an early age. I laughingly refer to this work as Abstract Depressionism.

To me something miraculous happens: An object of no worth becomes invaluable in its ability to convey the lonliness and despair of depression. It appears to speak from experience.

Sadie Jemmett.

On Thursday night I visited our local rip off bar. the only good things going for it were Sadie and Rebecca. Video of Sadie below was shot that evening. Hopefully sadie will come and do a set at Loco when she is finished touring.

More about Rebecca later.

Sadie is touring with Aled Jones (I know) : Sept 17 Shrewsbury Severn Theatre, Sept 21 Croydon Fairfield Hall, Sept 22 Rhyl Pavilion Theatre, Sept 23 Kings Lynn Corn Exchange, Sept 27 Harlow Playhouse, Sept 29 Skegness Embassy Theatre, Sept 30 Stevenage Concert Hall, Oct 02 New Brighton Pavilion Theatre, Oct 03 Darlington Civic Theatre, Oct 05 Worthing Pavilion, Oct 11 Derby Assembly Rooms, Oct 12 Tunbridge Wells Assembly Halls, Oct 15 Swansea Grand Theatre, Oct 16 Christchurch Regent.

http://sadiejemmett.com/

Surrealist Michael woods in conversation and pictures. Excavating Nic Roeg.

A very special night last night at westbourne Studios. Michael was grilled, unlike Dali's lobster which I uderstand was boiled, by Eliot Albers wearing a pork pie and a wry grin. the gentle inquisition produced more reason to think Michael well worth listening to. (Unlike the arcanely wordy woman behind me with her clever clever look at me I'm clever question she had written down for the occasion.)  the chat followed a screening of nic Roeg's  short film 'SOUND' which Michael collaborated on. It felt more like michaels film than Nic's. 

A still from SOUND

Michael woods

Michael woods and Eliot Albers and artist Barrington de la Roche.

A detail from one of Michaels Works.

Another Still from SOUND.

And finally... Hat club! The bloke in the foreground is James Simmins who I asked to take the picture. He forgot to get out of his way.

Rasta Mouse at the Tabernacle. W11.

Michael De Souza, creator of Rasta Mouse, is speaking at the Tabernacle tonight. Part of the Caribbean Film Corner.

I do not own a TV but have watched Rasta Mouse... Great fun!

Winking doll, pancakes and humps.

I found this doll in the street.

She winked.

I picked her up.

Breakfast..

I was given this for my birthday some years ago, then it blew off the roof and lay on the school roof next door for 2 years. When the fire brigade were putting out the fire in the school I asked them to rescue my sign.

Clouds, silver linings etc...

Portobello Film Festival Tonight's events.

Michael Woods (long term Nic Roeg collaborator) and friends talks about Nic's work and the occult tonite at Westbourne Studios. Plus rare screenings of Sound and Two Deaths.
Italian night at the Pop Up - a superb selection of the latest Italian short films inc comedy and animation and a film about Rudolph Valentino.
Short films tonite at The Tabernacle for second night of massively popular Caribbean Corner.
www.portobellofilmfestival.com

Miss Dynamite and bass guitar.

Some years ago I had a conversation with my younger son. we were discussing his future, I asked him what he was going to do when he left school. he told me that he was going to be a pop star. I told him that the chances of a kid from Acland Burleigh shool becoming a pop star were very slim.

"Naomi has done it". He said.

Naomi? I replied.

"Ms Dynamite".

I shut up and bought him a bass guitar!

Naomi was in the Tabernacle yesterday evening. She is a lovely woman, friendly, more than happy to chat to and sign autographs for the gaggle of kids around her and refreshingly normal. Unlike that other North London woman who died recently. not all pop stars are monsters.

Ms Dynamite has just released a new single.

Darth Vader's shed.

I met Architect David Ajasa-Adekunle yesterday. He had the biggest laptop I've

ever seen I didn't envy it but was jealous as hell. He did however show me his

shed designs. Brilliant! As soon as I get me a garden I'm going to get one of these.

from RHS Chelsea Flower Show Exhibitions Team:

tetra shed

'tetra shed' is a new modular building system which, as a single module, has been designed to be a modern garden office/atelier which can comfortably accommodate 2 people. A double module layout has also been designed to create a garden office/atelier for larger gardens. Clusters of upto 6 modules have primarily been designed as additional work, rest and play space for homes. Larger tessellations can be used for a range of applications such as classrooms, exhibition space, corporate events, tourism & leisure facilities and retail space. Designed to exceed the Building Regulations, 'tetra shed' is suitable for permanent year-round use. A forthcoming website will feature more details of 'tetra shed'. In the meantime, if you would like to know more about the system and its potential, please email david@innovation-imperative.com

From the RHS Chelsea Flower show: ‘’This year we are launching a new area within the Showground called ‘Fresh Tradestands’. The aim of this area is to push boundaries in product design and their subsequent display. We are challenging designers/artists to create a visual experience in order to showcase their innovative horticultural and landscaping products with a desire to engage the media and enhance the visitor experience. We want to bring products/work to Chelsea that hasn’t been seen at the Show before. Your Tetra Shed is exactly the sort of product we are looking for to be presented within this new area.’’

Tetra shed has also recently been chosen for a Royal Institute of British Architects (RIBA) exhibition at their London headquarters starting next month.

The tetra shed web site is HERE

Portobello Film Festival. Caribbean Film Corner.

Caribbean Film corner, part of the Portobello film Festival, starts at the Tabernacle tonight. Entry is Free. check it out.

WED 14 SEPT THE TABERNACLE POWIS SQUARE, W11 2AY CARIBBEAN FILM CORNER 6.30-10pm FEATURE DOUBLE BILL (2 amazing films back to back) The First Rasta (Jamaica/France) Directed by Helene Lee, 90mins Thirty years after Bob Marleys death, it is time to pay tribute to Leonard Percival Howell, The First Rasta. At the beginning of the last century, the young Leonard left Jamaica, became a sailor and travelled the world. On his way, he chanced upon all the ideas that stirred his time. From Bolshevism to New Thought, from Gandhi to anarchism, from Garveyism to psychoanalysis, he sought to find his promised land. With this cocktail of ideas Leonard Gong Howell returned to Jamaica and founded Pinnacle, the first Rasta community in 1939. Documentary Hush11 (Barbados) Directed by Marcia WEEKES, 102mins Life for 15 year old Mikisha has been tough over the last year after she becomes pregnant for her boyfriend Troy. Her mother Darlene, a single mom is suffering financially. In These tough times when Mikisha needs help, she meets her wealthy dad Morris and her sister Claire. Could this reunion between Mikisha and her dad be the answer to all her financial needs or is this her worst nightmare? Drama

Full listing for the 4 days can be found HERE

Marques Toliver at the Tabernacle.

Some reviews are a joy to write. Some performers defy the laws of probability. Sometimes the Tabernacle buzzes. sometimes all these things collide to create a memorable event.

The Art Explosion opening, attended by the Mayor, in the Gallery combined with a late start to the sell out show in the auditorium ensured that the place was rammed. There had been a lot of buzz about this one. time out had made it one of their picks for theweek and tickets had sold out in advance.

Mr Toliver is impossible to categorize; a classically trained violinist with bucket loads of sass and showmanship who also happens to write and sing a kind of soul. Backed by a happy band comprising a string quartet, drums, a couple of keyboards and a pair of backing singers he produce something pretty cool and totally unexpected. He produced an auto harp for one number, referencing P.J. Harvey as he introduced the instrument. Rock n Roll.

Photographs: Thomas Pegoraro.

I noticed a number of music industry bods in the audience; an indication that this man is hot!

A great show, a great night at the Tabernacle and a joy to write about.

MARQUES TOLIVER - WHITE SAILS.

Stalked and poetry.

Stalked

I am being stalked by the coolhunter
How cool is that

She is good
she frightens death
and chills out hell

She can stalk in high summer 
without working up a sweat
she can stalk on the ice pack
invisibly
while casually clubbing seal cubs

She can stalk you at truck stops
or at Soho house
she is just too cool to be noticed.

Except by Phil Spector



And she dealt with him.

Poetry defined.

A friend calls from canada and asks: '

What are you doing?'
and I say I am drinking milk and reading Bukowski
and she laughs and it is that laugh, 

you know, 
the laugh of someone you really like
and straight away you want to make her laugh again
not to make her happy so much
as to make her laugh again
so you can listen to it.

And when she hangs up I think of poetry
and what defines poetry
It is not as if
writing a shopping list of metaphors is enough

to make a poem!