Sacred Monsters No. 1: Kenneth Tynan.

Monday 24 September 2001
The Guardian 

Tynan's gift was to make criticism glamorous and sexy Guardian theatre critic Michael Billington recalls an exceptional talent  No one, they say, ever erected a statue to a critic. But Kenneth Tynan has bequeathed something even larger to posterity: a legendary life. This year has already seen the publication of a revelatory memoir, Life Itself, by his first wife, Elaine Dundy. The Tynan Diaries are imminent. And, as a prelude, we have an extraordinary last interview by Ann Louise Bardach. As a result I suspect a certain image of Tynan will prevail: the spanker, the star-fucker, the sexual obsessive, the suave and ultimately ailing hedonist. He comes to seem like a Marlovian over-reacher who was finally the victim of both emphysema and his own fixations. The danger is that we shall soon forget the very thing that made him famous: his ability to write about the theatre with a voluptuous commitment. Most dramatic criticism is as ephemeral as the work it describes. Very little survives as literature. Hazlitt's essays on Kean and Kemble have a vivid, bloodshot urgency. Shaw's Our Theatres in the Nineties memorably demolishes Irving and paves the way for Ibsen. Agate wrote about great actors with gusto and allusive wit. To that select list one has to add Tynan, who not only had the gift for pinning down a performance but also, as both critic and National Theatre literary manager, helped redefine British

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Knock 2 Bag.

In the old days comedians would often start a show with the words: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the theatre'. Well nothing funny happened to me on the way to the theatre tonight, but a funny thing happened at the theatre; I laughed! 

I never laugh. Ask anyone.

knock 2 Bag prides itself on its claim that it is more than just a knock about open mike type thing that most comedy nights have become. it wants to be taken more seriously as a considered showcase for real comedy as opposed to a bunch of studenty amateurs standing by a mic using the c word and jokes about Down's syndrome. By tonights' showing it is doing that; of course I did not laugh at everything and nor should I; comedy like everything else is a mixed bag indulging various tastes.

The first act Phil Kay was great, arriving in an anarchic physicality and ending in a virtuoso display of quick minded lyrical hilarity. The headline act: The boy with tape on his mouth was seriously good; a mime artist with a gash of tape across his mouth, surely a metaphor for Chaplins' moustache. He relied on nothing more than observational art and fantastic timing, involving members of the audience with sensitivity and great skill, producing a show that had me crying with laughter. The bit with the cup and ball on the end of his nose with a blindfolded stooge from the audience was priceless.

Between the beginning and ending high spots was a hard place to be for anyone but there was plenty of meat in the sandwich. On the strength of what I saw, Knock 2 Bag is a refreshing change from the unfunny comedy nights where the only people laughing are the promoters on the way to the bank.

A seriously hilarious night.

Oh. and if you laugh like a drain at everything you have a mind like a sewer. 

Victoria Bean. Art & Language

I met Artist and Poet Victoria Bean  today at an impromptu lunch. She was armed with something bubble wrapped. Another member of the party said: 'Have a look'.  

My heart sank. Was this going to be one of those embarrassing, awkward, yes its lovely through gritted teeth moments?

No it wasn't.

Her work is sharp, concise, intelligent and well executed.  Have a look at her website; click on her name above.

Gratuitous photograph.

My Notting Hill. Thank you.

A wonderful day in Notting Hill. Surrounded by the the people that make the place memorable; Chris and the Tabernacle especially, the barrister who shared a bottle of wine and advice, the journalist, the writer, the reliable academic and to my mind rock star, the locals, the perfect bum guy, the big Kiwi, the regulars and bar staff in the Cow, my friends. and the police too.


Hey everyone, thanks. Think I'll hang around.

The Island Experiment 2nd birthday party.

This is one for the diary. Wade and his crew always produce a spontaneously joyful rabbit out of the hat.
It is at the Tabernacle on the 27th of this month. Be there!

Oh, and Ella Montclare is performing along with the usual and not so usual.

Cafe Ravenous, Portobello Road.

The lasers have danced for the last time. Cafe Ravenous is no more.

                                Photo: Fiona Campbell


During its life time it was the place to party on the Portobello Road and the yurt in the garden made it rather special. A lot of people will be sad to see it go. Charlie and Ali who ran the crazy place were always welcoming and certainly entertaining; they offered me help and kindness during a period when I was not the happiest of men, we had our ups and downs. The reading I did there with  Murray Lachlan Young and Sam Margin was remains a very happy memory. 


the two of them will of course continue with their 'Ravenous' catering and I wish them success.


And thanks.

The Dead Weather - "I Cut Like A Buffalo" Version II (Official Video)

Blogger not arrested shock and the twitter arrest.

The police arrived at 12.30 am to arrest me. They did not arrest me. However we spent an interesting half hour surfing the net.  


I am pleased to be able to say that blogging will continue as usual. 


I am interested to learn of the Communications act of 2003 and specifically section 127 (a) which states that defamatory, obscene or threatening posts on a virtual social network is a criminal act as is being demonstrated by the arrest of the 'stoning twitter'.

The Tabernacle Bar and Kitchen.

When general manager Christopher Scholey arrived at the Tabernacle some months ago he set about cutting out the dead wood; bringing in new faces and turning what once was a rather hit and miss affair into something rather more professional and inviting.

Head chef Mark Richardson was one of the new arrivals; Mark had already proved himself to Christopher at the Bedford in South London so there was no guesswork to be done about Marks abilities. As well as the Bedford Marks career has taken him to such diversities as Glasgow's first organic restaurant and a stint in Sydney Australia where he developed his interest in what we now call 'Fusion'. Don't be put off by that word, there is not an ounce of pretension in the cooking here but there are welcome signs of an interested chef at work. Mark also has a good sense of humour which is often lacking in other chefs.

A pre-show dinner at the Tabernacle has now become an obvious choice, at my last visit the bar was full of show goers with a similar inclination, the service,from a very friendly young staff, has improved beyond recognition and the food is not overpriced. The menu offers a range of locally sourced options including breakfast, light snacks and full meals,   resulting in the Tabernacle bar and kitchen becoming a cheerfully relaxed and pleasant destination in its own right and a welcome improvement to Notting Hill.

On busy market days on nearby Portobello Road the Tabernacle bar and kitchen is a very welcome oasis if only for coffee and chocolate cake, a glass of wine or a beer.

Leonard Cohen - A Thousand kisses deep

Snake oil, oily fish and Notting Hill parties.

Lots of oily fish the doctor said.


Yeah, as if.


Anyway a guy at a party handed me a bottle of omega 3 capsules and said try these.


If I am dead in 30 days it is because they don't work, nothing to do with the fact I'm dying anyway. If I'm alive in 30 days come for the party.


Makes a change from the usual Notting Hill snake oil salesmen.

Murray Lachlan Young is coming to the Tabernacle.

To my mind the best performance poet around is coming to Notting Hill on the 22nd and 23rd of this month. This gives me the excuse to post his showreel. 



Tom Baxter and vashti Baxter are also on the bill.... See you there!