Saturday 26 February 2011

The Idler Academy launch party and a Cow on good form.

Thursday evening saw the launch of the Idler Academy in Westbourne Park Road, W11.

Such was the size of the crowd attending the party that is was impossible to swing a cat, even in an idle manner. Characters not seen for many moons turned out to wish the venture success; I am not going to name-drop though (that would be far too uncouth). Absinthe flowed freely throughout the evening... Sensibly I avoided the stuff.

The Academy, a combination of bookshop, cafe and venue for edifying lectures is a welcome arrival in this little corner of West London which is a haven of calm midst the madness of  Portobello/Notting Hill.

Drinks were taken afterwards at the Cow next door (which stands exactly half way between my garret and the Academy) where, by happy chance, a good number of the local crowd had gathered to frighten off the tourists. Just like the old days.

Wednesday 23 February 2011

Poly Styrene diagnosed with cancer.

X-ray Spex provided part of the soundtrack to my life in London in the late 70's.

Polly; a genuine eccentric has now been diagnosed with cancer... Let's pray that she can beat it.

Meanwhile:



Update. April 26th 2011.  Sadly Poly has lost her battle with cancer. She will be missed.

Cornish Pasties under threat from Alien imports.

A new Armada threatens the British despite EU protection.

I am hearing disturbing reports from my contacts in Cornwall of Spanish pastie bakery ships, masquerading as trawlers, massing off the coast. Apparently they have found a loophole in the EU law protecting the Cornish Pasty and are able to freely and legally call their products'Cornish Pasties' as they are manufactured within British territorial waters. These ' Cadiz Pasties' are being snuck ashore at night (using ages old smugglers tunnels) and transported to bakeries and shops throughout Britain.

If this were not bad enough I am reliably informed that these Spanish monstrosities not only contain shards of carrot but are crimped along the top.

Enough is enough! The theft of our pilchards by those Spanish blighters for the illegal Stargazey pie industry should have been a warning to us all.

time to fight back... Time to flood Andalucia with Paella made with basmati rice and Arbroath smokies.

Sunday 20 February 2011

A new theatre in Notting Hill.


I'm losing my edge. Or just not noticing what's going on any more!

A new small theatre has opened on Hereford Road W2 in an old print works; giving rise to the name the print room. I noticed it on my way back from Westbourne Grove, poked my head in the door and was greeted warmly and invited in to have a look round.

It is neither a conventional theatre nor large (seating 80) but it is just what we need; Notting Hill, for all its bohemian strutting, is criminally short of venues such as this. It has the feel of a place that has passionate people behind it; again something that the area is short of.

Currently 'Snake in the grass' by Alan Ayckbourn is playing.

Good news indeed... Let's go!

www.the-print-room.org

Tuesday 15 February 2011

Sunday 13 February 2011

The Idler Academy coming to Westbourne Park Road.


The Idler is to open its academy http://idler.co.uk/academy/ on Westbourne Park Road on March 1st. Handy for me it is but a 30 second idle stroll from my front door.



Thursday 10 February 2011

Beckham, Mubarak and beer.

OK.  I waited well past 8.00 O Clock for Mubarak to speak... I was aiming for the Cow and a well earned beer but the Egyptian kept me waiting only to hear that he ain't going so I head to the pub...

Only to find David Beckham hogging the seat by the fire.

Surely both Beckham and Mubarak can afford their own fires and leave the Cow fire to the locals.

I like a chat at the bar with the locals normally but when I am confronted with dull stares over Egypt but animated enthusiasm over a past it footballers I worry.

I worry.

Sunday 6 February 2011

Gary Moore Dies.

He was only three years older than me for heavens sake.

I never really got into Thin Lizzy at the time. Maybe we should listen to some now!

Saturday 5 February 2011

Killjoy alert on the Portobello Road.

Ryan O'Reilly; prince of buskers and regular Saturday attraction sent me this message today:



Ryan O'Reilly 05 February at 14:03 Report
Hi Tristan, just thought you'd be interested for your blog that we got properly got moved on today. some guy in a suit came up and disturbed our crowd then forced the PCSO's to remove us (against their will as they kept saying) he lived all the way down the road and as you know we don't use amps. couldn't believe it, then he rather laughably said he'd bring a bat to sort us out next time. The PCSO's said that they'd missed a street robbery because of his constant complaining. Anyway, sorry for the rant but like I say if you wish to mention it in your blog then please feel free.
all the best.
Ryan

What the fuck is wrong with some people? 

Portobello has been here for a long long time. It is, on Fridays and Saturdays, a bustling noisy street. The buskers are part of the attraction for the thousands of tourists who visit each weekend. Why the fuck would 'man in suit' want to move here in the first place?

Maybe he enjoys the cachet of a W11 address. He is obviously suffering for his 'chicness' and should relocate to Pinner immediately and leave Portobello and the rest of us to go about our lives.

Monday 31 January 2011

John Barry...

John Barry has died. A Guardian piece about his music is HERE

Whether you know it or not he was a massive presence in the movies... He seems to have scored my entire film going life.

Here is the opening sequence from one of his early films.  Look out for a very gay Oliver Reed in the checked shirt.

The Tabernacle has a new website.

About time too. The Tabernacle has thrown away the old website and moved into the 21st century.

find them here: http://www.tabernaclew11.com/

Urgent message from Egypt from Miriam Hussain... Please read this!


On Saturday 29th January 2011,  said:
URGENT MESSAGE FROM ACTIVIST IN EGYPT. PLEASE REPOST IF YOU CAN! "To all the people of world"

Alicia Ali Marsden

To all the people of world

The people in Egypt are under governmental siege. Mubarak regime is banning Facebook, Twitter, and all other popular internet sites Now, the internet are completely blocked in Egypt. Tomorrow the government will block the 3 mobile phone network will be completely blocked.

And there is news that even the phone landlines will be cut tomorrow, to prevent any news agency from following what will happen.

Suez city is already under siege now. The government cut the water supply and electricity, people, including, children and elderly are suffering there now. The patients in hospitals cannot get urgent medical care. The injured protesters are lying in the streets and the riot police are preventing people from helping them. The families of the killed protesters cannot get the bodies of their sons to bury them. This picture is the same in north Saini (El-Sheikh zoyad city) and in western Egypt (Al-salom). The riot police is cracking down on protesters in Ismailia, Alexandria, Fayoum, Shbin Elkoum, and Cairo, the capital, in many neighborhoods across the city.

The government is preparing to crackdown on the protesters in all Egyptian cities. They are using tear gas bombs, rubber and plastic pullets, chemicals like dilutes mustard gas against protesters. Several protesters today have been killed when the armored vehicles of the riot police hit them. Officials in plain clothes carrying blades and knives used to intimidate protesters. Thugs deployed by the Egyptian Ministry of Interior are roaming the streets of Cairo, setting fire on car-wheels as means of black propaganda to demonize protesters and justify police beatings and state torture

All this has been taken place over the past three days during the peaceful demonstrations in Cairo and other cities. Now, with the suspicious silence of the local media and the lack of coverage from the international media, Mubarak and his gang are blocking all the channels that can tell the world about what is happening.

People who call for their freedom need your support and help. Will you give them a hand?

The activists are flooding the net (youtube and other sites) with thousands of pictures and videos showing the riot police firing on armless people. The police started to use ammunition against protesters. 15-year old girl has been injured and another 25 year old man has been shot in the mouth. While nothing of these has appeared in the media, there is more to happen tomorrow. Will you keep silent? Will you keep your mouth shut while seeing all these cruelty and inhumane actions?

We don’t ask for much, just broadcast what is happening

Written by: Mariam Hussien

Sunday 30 January 2011

Being human... Being teenage.

Teenagers are obsessed with two things; growing up and sex.

Parents of teenagers are obsessed with avoiding both.

Teenagers have always been obsessed with sex and the cinema/TV have constantly looked for metaphors to describe this obsession. Over the years the teenage obsession has remained the same, the metaphors used however have become more and more sophisticated to the point where drugs and booze and even sex itself is not sexy enough... So let's throw in vampirism.

Adam's story in this programme is as old as the hills... A kid who doesn't want to grow up as quickly as the society he lives in wants him to; he is the victim of peer pressure, advertising and fear.

He is saved, at the end of the day, by his own 'common sense' and his desire to take things at the right speed. Of course he is helped in this by 'friends' who may have motives of their own, but that is life. That is how it is.

I wish I had had television like this when I was a kid, I had to make do with early Doctor Who, the Clangers and the Evengers to escape. but there again I had Man walking on the moon, England winning the World Cup and snogging Judy Waters in the churchyard.

And much more was possible because of the lack of sophistication back then... I have a feeling that sophistication is finite and that original thought more and more difficult to achieve. Everything is on the telly now and better than we could possibly have imagined.

But still I wish I were a teenager watching Being Human, and better still would be watching it with my mum and dad.

Thursday 27 January 2011

Ray - Roughler - Jones. Notting Hill personality of the year.

This is surely a joke. Ray Jones has been voted Notting Hill personality of the year. I reviewed his autobiography last year; a picaresque tale of thieving, dealing, drinking and skiving. Nothing wrong with that if you are going to own up to it but surely NOT the makings of 'Personality of the Year'.

What about the school dinner ladies, the lollipop folk, the selfless carers, the blemish free charity workers, the whores that sell £5 tricks on Westbourne Park Road to frustrated ministers, the steel pan players on Portobello, the Yummy Mummies who like to be seen doing their bit, The crackhead panhandlers who live on my doorstep?

Nah. This is Notting Hill. Personality of the Year has got to... Well you know. Sniff!

Well done Ray.

Nelson Mandela dying?

Things do not look good as a string of old friends visit Mandela's bedside. However we are told that he is suffering from a collapsed lung and will be out of hospital soon.

UPDATE. Mandela is now out of hospital and feeling better.

Monday 17 January 2011

Depressed by the press.

A Guest Blog by Jan Nieupjur. As ever his views ain't necessarily mine.

What a depressing start to the year.

I had always (naively) believed that the role of the press was to report on events in such a way as to inform it's readers. Four events in the past couple of weeks have demonstrated beyond doubt that the press now believes that IT is the story and that events occur purely as catalyst to the main event; namely the press writing/talking about themselves. No longer satisfied with reporting the facts it must now pontificate, pass judgement, assassinate, harass, defame and then blame everyone else but itself when it gets it wrong.

In fact the press now succeeds in misinforming it's readers most of the time.

I see nothing more than cliquey groups of self important 'would be' somebodies suddenly realising that they are about as relevant as Spam recipes when it comes to providing up to date news.

Newspapers are now nothing more than flimsy 'lifestyle' comics; they are always at least 12 hours behind the rest of us so I guess they feel that, by hypothesising, accusing and judging, they are providing a service.

My advice.  Stick to fashion, cooking, interior design and obscure health matters. Leave the reporting of the news to those who can actually focus on the news.

Thursday 13 January 2011

Blog exhaustion.

I'm suffering from exhaustion. The blog has somewhat ground to a halt. They never last forever in the same format; everyone gets bored and wanders off somewhere else.

what to do though!

There are enough political blogs around and more than enough 'wise-arses' to go around.

Hopefully something will crop up.

Palin's Breath

Thursday 6 January 2011

Harassment, twitter and stupidity.

The nonsense continues. The harassment thing is now Sub Judice and I am obliged to keep my mouth shut for the time being. However, The ongoing investigation is not into my activities but into those of another, who, due to mental health problems, does not know when enough is enough.

I find it extraordinary that someone will continue to post libellous and defamatory statements on the twitter thing without a care in the world and without thought to the fact that those statements are recorded for posterity and will be used as evidence. I feel sorry for the sad, lonely individuals who have been conned into colluding. They will learn.

I am writing about this at length and will publish as soon as the law allows.

Tuesday 4 January 2011

Solar eclipse, penury and Jason King.

I missed the solar eclipse this morning... The whole thing was eclipsed by cloud.  Oh well.

Being January not a great deal is happening in Notting Hill and that is probably wise as most people will be too broke to spend money on happenings; they'll be saving their pennies for VAT hikes and transport fare increases. With the civil unrest and the tube strikes it is beginning to take me back to the 70's... will we be getting a three day week soon?

Perhaps we are also in for a resurgence of prog rock, silly flared trousers and Department S remakes.

Happy days.

Saturday 1 January 2011

Abuse on the Internet,stalking, psychotics and sociopaths.

As a result of my recent experience involving an extremely disturbed and nasty abuser (now being investigated by the Police) I am digging deeper into this sort of behaviour.

Please let me know if you have had problems with internet abuse/stalking.  Email me or leave a comment. Absolute discretion is assured.

London Eye Firework from Parliament Hill

Wednesday 29 December 2010

And we are back...

After a week snowbound in an unheated cottage with Jan and Rusty it is good to be back in London dusting off the tuxedo in preparation for New Year's eve. I shall be attending the Rotting Hill Gang bash at the Tabernacle as well as popping into the Cow for a beer or two.

Between now and then is time for a rethink on where this blog is going in 2011...

Thursday 23 December 2010

Portobello Panto 2010. It's behind you.

The Portobello Panto is an institution... In the hands of producer Piers Thompson it is a lunatic asylum.

The panto of old was a self indulgent plaything for a little clique of hillybillys; self referential and full of itself. The buzz earlier this year was that the panto was dead and about time too.... then along came Piers and Director Roger Pomphrey.


OK. The Panto of old made it's presence felt like Marley's ghost in the shape of an old turkey of a script by Kevin Allen from the 90's which was jazzed up with a dollop of cranberry sauce and of course the children. Notting Hill stalwart Ray 'Roughler' Jones made an appearance. The 'house band' featuring  Roger was worth the entry fee alone, the Tabernacle really came alive for what is it's raison d'etre, the fairies were brilliant as were their yummy mummies (the Fox school got a mention, why not!) and there were no new jokes to confuse the audience.



The high point for me was the cameo role from my scrabble nemesis and BBC star (you gotta have a star at Christmas) Simon Jack; I knew he was versatile but nothing prepared me for his jacket... IT shone.

The rendering of a living fire by a child was one of the most moving theatrical events I have ever witnessed... Bravo.

There is no point going into the plot or the characters; everything was as it should be in Pantoland, the evil character was of course a woman, the men were fools, the Princess was a valley girl, and yes! Oh no it's not, it's behind you!

Full marks to Piers and crew for assembling what was to me the dreamcatcher in the window of Notting Hill and a truly entertaining night.

If Pantomime is the closest thing to an honest snapshot of modern society... God help us all.

Wednesday 22 December 2010

Ringo in Notting Hill

Starch, Psychopaths and Panto.

And we're back...

After two weeks of bedrest and the well starched attention of  nurse Hope I am finally up and about again.

Just in time too.  It is the last night of the Portobello Panto at the Tabernacle... Certainly not to be missed; more later. There are still tickets available for this afternoons show at: http://www.tabernaclelive.co.uk/whats-on/
panto+flyer.jpg (509×720)
The psychopath is off my back; focusing elsewhere no doubt.

Friday 17 December 2010

Thursday 16 December 2010

Ryan O'Reilly, the Cow, Claudia Schiffer and whelks.

After a day dealing with the psychotic bitch in my life the Cow called...

Guinness, molluscs, bivalves, winkles, oysters, prawns and whelks with Ryan O'Riley of the Ryan O'Riley band and the man in a pink hoodie who looked as if he had lived enough this week without the burden of the upcoming days.

Ryan told the story of how a copper had tried to move him on in Portobello Road for waking Claudia Schiffer up.... It's ok Claudia, Ryan and the band are going on a European tour soon.

The winkles tasted of Eastbourne according to the man in the pink hoodie.

One of us cannot be wrong.

I had not heard this before... I have now.

Blake Edwards has died... RIP.

Harrods Christmas sentiment... In lights.

From DASHPERIOD
‘Fuck off Harrods’ done by a disgruntled employee, fired by Harrods from his job as the toy department’s Father Christmas, took revenge last night in spectacular style.
Gaining access to a maintenance control room, Lloyd Hudson, 35, from Ilford, Essex, was able to locate the chart and corresponding switches for Harrods’ 10,000 external lights.
Barracading himself in, Hudson disabled the correct lights until he could spell out his feelings to Harrods bosses and Christmas shoppers alike. He was removed by security guards after an hour-long stand-off, then handed over to police.
“He had drunk the best part of two bottles of whisky,” said a spokesperson for the iconic London store, “and it’s that kind of behaviour that got him the sack in the first place.” Hudson has since been released on police bail.
Knightsbridge visitors were stunned.
“Honestly, I am disgusted, ” said Irene Rider, 59, from Gary, Indiana. “I was with my grandchildren. We had just gotten off the bus. I said ‘look everybody’ and pointed up to the lights – but you know what the lights said? They said f**k off. And that is not an appropriate message for a child.  At least not at Christmas time.”

I love that 'at least not at Christmas' bit...   And of course Santa got the sack; Santa got the toys in the sack... even doctor Zeuss knows that. That Santa got the sack…..

None of the above is true of course. It is photoshoppery from The Poke.

Rachman at his height...


Click HERE for more from Ladbroke Grove 50's - 70's

Cutting Coke with Gold dust in Notting Hill.



A night out with the new Muse; Honesty. where do they get their names from these mid-western girls?

I asked her that. She replied: 'My dad got it from a seed catalogue'.

Anyway, once we's got off the subject of horticulture and how big her dad was and what kind of shot he used in his 12 bore and the fact that her leopard skin leggings were itching up a storm I excused myself for a pee.

Can't tell you where we were but I can tell you that the loo's were liberally sprinkled with gold dust... Shit! I thought. They are cutting the Coke with gold these days...  I took a sniff from a non urinal area; I wasn't that drunk.

Jeez.... Tinsel.

They are cutting the Coke with tinsel for Christmas.

They are not however cutting the bullshit.

Tuesday 14 December 2010

Inadequates and drug problems.

Why do inadequates always cite drug problems as an excuse for being inadequate?

They were inadequate before they took drugs; the drugs just compound the inadequacy.

'Poor me'. They say. 'I am a victim of society'.

Bollocks.... They prey on society, demanding attention and compassion. They give nothing back.

If you cannot handle your drugs don't do them. Simple as that.