Carnival Comedy Club.

Here is another gem in the Tabernacle/Carnival Village calendar.

Comedy nights can often be painfully unfunny, there are too many mediocre or worse comedy events in London resulting in a lot of barrel scraping. Some modern comics seem to think that it is fine to mock the afflicted or just swear a lot and the job is done. None of this is the case with Carnival Comedy.

I had not been before and knew very little about it.

It was rammed, not an empty seat and many people standing. I sensed that the audience were old friends of the event and there was a carnival atmosphere. Organiser and compere Geoff Schumann is a natural performer and a very funny man who likes to involve his audience. If you are of a shy nature I recommend the seats in the shadows. The acts were consistently good, non insulting, happy people come to share their joy. Fridays full line up comprised of:

Felix Dexter
Maureen Younger
Auria Styla
Martin Wyatt
Wayne Rollins
Axel the entertainer
Variety D

Carnival Comedy Club is a regular feature at the Tabernacle with a strong line up of acts.I heartily recommend you check it out. Book tickets though to avoid disappointment

Carnival Village venues host a rich mix of entertainment – the familiar and the surprising – from music, dance, film, theatre and exhibitions to arts events and workshops throughout the year. All exhibitions and some events are free!

Carnival Village Favouritesinclude comedy’s coolest jesters, poetry, spoken word and talks from the wise and wordly, to Caribbean jazz, oral culture evenings and the London Calypso Tent music spectacular.

Carnival Season presents a multi-arts spotlight on the period around London’s biggest street event, whilst a festive satirical panto also caters for your best-loved traditions.. 


Full Carnival Village listings and calendar can be found at: http://www.carnivalvillage.org.uk/

Badly needed redevelopment of Portobello Road.

Earlier this month a scheme to develop a shitty little patch of Portobello Road was unveiled.

It concerns the patch of land that lies between the once infamous Cafe Ravenous at number 275 and the railway line. At present there exists a brick wall topped with security fencing capped with prison like spikes; an eyesore.

The proposal includes the creation of  10 new mews houses tucked away behind 2 new shops fronting onto the street. The Portobello facade is in total keeping with what already exists; there is no attempt at 'flashy' Purist arseing about, no Minimalist overkill and no threat. It simply places what should have always been there.

the Mews development is a different story; thoughtful, sensitive, modern, Eco-friendly and unobtrusive, utilising a strip of waste land.

The Architects, CHASSAY+LAST know Notting Hill well and it shows. The principals behind the scheme are locals. This is not a sharp suited 'smash and grab' raid on the neighbourhood by city developers. It does not herald an 'All Saints' type intrusion.

There will be some moaning minnies and detractors but the truth is that this little strip of Portobello needs sorting. K&C are throwing a shedload of money at the underused square opposite in an attempt to 'bring it up'. this proposal does nothing but add to the area.

Thumbs up.

Dark Dark Dark and Black Heart Procession.

I hadn't realised you could get that many ladders into a pair of pantyhose.

It feels like it was American vernacular music week at the Tabernacle after the Handsome Family on Tuesday and last night Dark Dark Dark and Black Heart Procession.

The Dark (I'm losing the will to repeat that word) are a Minneapolis based chamber folk sextet and to my mind moody rather than dark. An accordion featured heavily. All in all great  background music for people falling in or out of love but without any 'bang'  for the inbetweenies. The one female member was wearing those tights, I hope it was a fashion statement rather than the product of abject poverty.

During the interval I wandered out into a perfectly still dusk in the courtyard; full of birdsong and peace.

Black Heart Procession (2 guys, one piano, one saw (I kid you not)) are an 'Indie' curiosity from San Diego. I stayed for four numbers but the musical saw is not high on my list of pleasures; it smacks of 'parlour trick'. Not my bag so it would be unfair to say more than the band failed to capture me let alone induce Stockholm Syndrome.

Melpomeni.

I briefly chatted with Melpomeni at the Tabernacle last night. Check her out:


http://www.myspace.com/melpomenirising/music

Songs about bridges: The Handsome Family at the Tabernacle.

I like bridges. I like songs about bridges.

The Handsome Family like bridges. They make songs about bridges. Not just about bridges though; they make songs about other things we can fall from and things we can fall into. they make songs about falling too.

Their songs document a foreign place to me in a musical and lyrical language drawn from the history of that place: USA.

You cannot pigeon-hole these people, they'd fill a loft and then some. Filling the place with stories you want to hear and then wrapping those stories in music.

I am a massive fan and this gig was a pilgrimage for me. This isn't a review it is in homage to lyrical beauty wrapped in (sometimes very gutsy) roots.

The Handsome Family are an Edward Hopper exhibition in song.

Listen: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFkSqZm7YbA

Charlie Simpson at the Tabernacle.

I knew I was the wrong person to review Charlie's show at the Tabernacle last week. fortunately I got chatting to some fans in the bar afterwards... They put me straight in no uncertain terms. I asked one of them; a Portuguese girl named Teresa Teles to write a review for the blog.  Here it is:

Teresa Teles writes:

Last Tuesday Charlie Simpson performed for the first time as a solo artist. This date sold out approximately three weeks in advance and, as expected, Charlie was anxious as he tweeted: 'Show day nerves starting to kick in! Very excited though.'

As 6 o'clock approached the fans started to gather around the building, eager for the doors to open. It has been said that this was the most popular event the Tabernacle has ever held.

At around 7.40 pm the supporting act, The Xcerts, opened the concert. The band cheered up the punters with a few acoustic numbers as they waited for the big man to show up. Twenty minutes later Charlie Simpson joined the stage and was received by a happy and cheering crowd. Thorns was the opening song. The more devoted fans had already had the chance to hear this song almost a year ago.

The crowd was enthusiastic and so was Charlie. At the end of Thorns, we could see how happy he was. His public  liked what he was doing. This was not a common show – most of the songs performed have not yet been released. (Young Pilgrim will be soon.) So the people were given new melodies. And they liked it. Once could say that the most appreciated moment was when Charlie performed his 'so played on radio and TV shows' new single Down Down Down. A great moment. But again the crowd the was amazed by another Simpson song: one he said he had written a couple of days before – Please Let Me Go. Magic was done. Charlie was on his own on the stage with his guitar playing this touching and beautiful song. I was told some people even shed tears.

After a few more songs, there was no place for doubt – Charlie Simpson is going to become big as a solo artist and even Fightstar fans are enjoying this project.

The show closed with The Farmer and his Gun, a more cheery number.

Peel your eyes and hearts because this man is going to hit the charts.

The play list was as follows:

Thorns
Cemetery Gates
Down Down Down
Sun Down
Hold On
Need a Friend
Parachutes
If I hide
Please Let me Go
All at Once
Farmer and his Gun

Get Down Down Down from Itunes here:http://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/down-down-down-single/id431245239

Pre-order Young Pilgrim, the new solo album here: Amazon http://www.amazon.co.uk/Young-Pilgrim-Charlie-Simpson/dp/B004XC37LU/ref=sr_1_3?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1303384976&sr=1-3 Play.com http://www.play.com/Music/CD/4-/19681595/Charlie-Simpson-Young-Pilgrim/Product.htm

Uniq the poet. Walking.

Charlie Simpson at the Tabernacle.

A full house at the tab tonight, obviously Simpson fans and here for Simpson; a good looking, charismatic man. I know nothing about him or his music. Fortunately this happened: http://jannieupjur.blogspot.com/2011/05/charlie-simpson-at-tabernacle_16.html

notes for a poem.

If only we could identify the Love DNA .There would be testing clinics in every town. A super clinic in Oxford Street Queues round the block



Testing their love:

The old men and their Bankok brides
Spotty oiks and village bikes
Ballerinas, ballerinas
Old lovers, new lovers, perhaps not lovers at all
Scientists with actresses
Barristers and rough diamonds
Artists and bank managers
Ghosts and priests
Goths and poets.

All testing.In the departments of love:

A tattoo parlour
Gown shop
Cake shop, florist
Wedding chapel, Elvis present daily
Hallmark card shop
white goods, bedroom sets
Lingerie and soft fruit.

Receptacle for redundant dildos
Viagra falls by the chocolate fountain
Cubic Zirconiums as big as the ritz.

Cinema screening non stop rom coms
Pretty girls with trays of condoms
Pretty boys with trays of condoms
Hotel rooms for love struck non doms.

'Soul Food' at the Tabernacle.

'Soul food' described itself  in the Tabernacle calendar as 'A feast of talent to feed mind and nourish your soul'. apart from that I had nothing to go on as to what was in store on Sunday night.

Well they were right and it is and I came away smiling. Soul Food is a Spoken word and musical collation with Carribean spicing. and very well done.

I have always been an admirer of the story telling tradition from those Islands; I remember being enthralled as a young man listening to lyrical, often hilarious, tales told by an old man I once had the luck to know. His tales helped me on my way to being a poet. the tradition is living on here in Notting Hill.

Mosaique

There were a lot of acts on the bill, of a consistently high standard. too many to name individually here (I'll be posting a full review on the Tabernacle website) ranging from the singing of the very young and surprisingly confident 'Shaleah' who must be heading to good things. Uniq the poet caused me once again to consider rap as poetry. 'Mosaic' was very very good, hard to define his style and material but I'm going to go with 'Theatre for voice'. Catch him if you can.

And the evening went on. Heidi Vogel impressed me with her wonderful voice, deep tones and bossa nova. Kat Francois is an observational comedian (among many other talents) who defies any critic who says that women don't make good comedy. I get to see quite a lot of comedy, rarely do I laugh as much as during her set. She has a Theatre Royal show coming up. Well worth checking out.

The evening was hosted by the Delicious Princess and Jason grant and produced by Afropick. We are assured that soul Food will return. I shall be there. Might even try to get on the bill.

Loco Cabaret @ the Grand Union. Review of sorts.

Bloody hell, that was good.

Thanks to everyone who came down to the Grand Union last night. It was great fun. The place rocked. James and Dan are putting together a very cool fortnightly event which attracts some serious performers. I'm not going to list them all but they know who they are. Here is the fb page

Thanks to Dan Antrobus for the guitar solo; you are a star Dan.

I have a feeling that this night will rapidly outgrow the limited space at the Grand Union, let's hope they move it into the garden for the summer.

The next one is in two weeks time. Be there.

Orlando Seale & the Swell Tabernacle video

these streets. orlando seale and the swell at the tabernacle from emma seale on Vimeo.

Loco cabaret @ the Grand Union W9. Saturday 7th May.

Hosted by James Simmins and Dan Antrobus, this fortnightly show features regular artists & special guests as well as encouraging new performers.


I shall be there doing some poetry stuff but more importantly having a very splendid time.


Previous review HERE

Tonights line up  includes Many of the usual suspects plus:
Holly Robens
Stuart Frobisher
Cristian Aftershave &
Freak Elite

With poetry from
Tristan Hazell

Plus Special Guests

Charlie Simpson @ Tabernacle W11 next Tuesday.

Charlie Simpson will play a one-off show at London’s Tabernacle on May 10th.

This is the first chance to see the new musical incarnation of the Fightstar frontman live.

 "Down Down Down", the multi-textured debut solo single taken from Charlie Simpson’s forthcoming album "Young Pilgrim" is currently Fearne Cotton’s Record of the Week on Radio 1.  It is available to download from iTunes now, with an impact date May 16th.

Win tickets to see elbow play St Pauls Cathedral crypt.

I know this is a little 'off' the manor but Elbow at St Paul's looks like one of those things that shouldn't be missed. Tickets are not on sale but can be won in THIS COMPETITION courtesey of Absolute Radio.

The Island Experiment and rock n roll poetry.

It would be incredibly naff to review an event in which I took part.  However,

The Island last night was great fun, Wade puts on a very good local showcase (rather than open mic) event but when I say local I don't mean parochial I mean it is in a 'Local' with a big loyal following which attracts acts from all over the place.

Last night's line up was consistently good with one or two demonstrating great talent. I'm not going to put a list here, there is a link to the Island Experiment fb page on the right.

On a personal level My poetry was kindly received and thanks to the presence of house bassist Patrick and Roger Pomphrey I was able to do my rock n roll poem with guitar solo. Always a high point for me when I find a willing collaborator.

If you are ever in NW10 on a Wednesday night You could do no better than get down to the Island.

My poem 'Poetry is the new Rock n Roll' will be getting another airing at Loco Cabaret @ the Grand Union W9 on Saturday night with Dan Antrobus providing the solo.

Rebecca Poole at the Cobden Club May 20th.

Catch Rebecca prior to her Ronnie Scott's Gig on 31st May and stardom. Don't just take my word for it: "Rebecca Poole is one of the brightest stars on the jazz soul circuit" According to Jazz Fm and she is at the Cobden Club W10 on the 20th 0f May. Her last single 'What Happened to Romance' was playlisted by Jazz FM and picked up by BBC Introducing. It is now available to download from Itunes. Rebecca is a farmers daughter from Oxforshire who fell in love with Nina Simone and Ella Fitzgerald. "I write songs that are a mix of vintage swing and modern day pop. I'm a true romantic so I think of old fashioned love and it's contrast with today and twist a bit of humour in".

Jake Emlyn. I Don't Rap.

Wade-aid: Orlando Seale at the Tabernacle W11. Plus lots more.

                                 Orlando Seale and the Swell


Wade Bayliss was back at the tabernacle last night for another of his Island Experiments and he has been tinkering with his formula since the last one.
The 'house band' being joined by guests set up has been replaced with a less chaotic running order of artists MC'd by Wade in his now familiar white jacket (a jacket which seems to get whiter as it gets older)


I missed IN XANADU and ANDY MITCHELL  but was in time to catch the indescribably cool  CUTHBERT 80 with JAMES SIMMINS & PATRICK LONG  and CHELSEA DIXON. 

HAYLEY TUCKER who gave us three songs with that belter of a voice of hers. 


Cool VALENTIN GERLIER arrived with a duet of vocal assistants providing the harmonies, replacing the advertised string quartet. He has some fine, well crafted and soulful songs.
  
I had not heard of JAKE EMLYN.

Why not? He has the appearance of the love child of Brian Jones and Marianne Faithful sitting elfin like behind a keyboard resplendent in red velvet and topper. his songs (he don't rap, he tells us. But he do) are joyfully observational, riddled with angst, insecurity, self assurance, Hilarity, naivety, wisdom and pathos, all delivered in a wonderfully camp manner. Deliciously funny and very very good. If Jake doesn't become a star there is something wrong with the world.


Wade and his band: PATRICK LONG, MARTIN SAVALE , JAYGUN, MATT WINN, MR TOM BONES + HENRY BLAKE played us through to the headline act of the evening:

ORLANDO SEALE AND THE SWELL. 


I've known Orlando for a couple of years, first saw him perform at the Troubadour and then he very kindly took part in one of my spoken word/music things in the Tabernacle bar in 2009. Things have moved on and Orlando arrived back at the Tabernacle with a 10 piece band (including strings, flute, clarinet and a number of drums) fresh from his BBC Live sessions success and blew the place away with a short but brilliant set. His band is very, very good and tight - orchestral training certainly brings discipline by the shed-load. Orlando's stage experience (he is a multi-talented man) shone through in his demeanour and commitment.
I am not going to attempt to describe what these people do save to say that it is Big in every sense , almost operatic in it's ambition. Orlando's lyrics are literary and lyrical, considered and there for a purpose. It's rock and roll for grown ups.
The set was far too short followed by the delightful scene of the man coming to the front of the stage for 10 minutes to chat with well wishers and new fans... By the way, Orlando is a babe magnet.


It was a consistently good night and testament to Wade's growing alchemy skills.The next experiment is in a couple of months.


Orlando Seale and the Swell are playing at the Union chapel London N1. on June 4th. It is a fantastic venue and it promises to be something special. 


I will be posting a separate blog-entry on Orlando and the Swell in the coming days.

La Belle Dame sans Merci 

JOHN KEATS

O, what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,

       Alone and palely loitering?

The sedge has withered from the lake,

       And no birds sing.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,

       So haggard and so woe-begone?

The squirrel’s granary is full,

       And the harvest’s done.

I see a lily on thy brow,

       With anguish moist and fever-dew,

And on thy cheeks a fading rose

       Fast withereth too.

I met a lady in the meads

       Full beautiful—a faery’s child,

Her hair was long, her foot was light,

       And her eyes were wild.

I made a garland for her head,

       And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;

She looked at me as she did love,

       And made sweet moan.

I set her on my pacing steed,

       And nothing else saw all day long,

For sidelong would she bend, and sing

       A faery’s song.

She found me roots of relish sweet,

       And honey wild, and manna-dew,

And sure in language strange she said—

       ‘I love thee true’.

She took me to her elfin grot,

       And there she wept and sighed full sore,

And there I shut her wild wild eyes

       With kisses four.

And there she lullèd me asleep,

       And there I dreamed—Ah! woe betide!—

The latest dream I ever dreamt

       On the cold hill side.

I saw pale kings and princes too,

       Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;

They cried—‘La Belle Dame sans Merci

       Thee hath in thrall!’

I saw their starved lips in the gloam,

       With horrid warning gapèd wide,

And I awoke and found me here,

       On the cold hill’s side.

And this is why I sojourn here,

       Alone and palely loitering,

Though the sedge is withered from the lake,

       And no birds sing.

For two voices.

He said:
I can't sleep
Are you awake
I can't sleep
Are you awake I can't sleep
I can't sleep
I can't sleep
Are you awake I can't sleep for thinking about you.

She said:
If you were thinking about me you would let me sleep
go to sleep.

The Royal Wedding.

I shall not be watching the thing and, beyond this statement, will not be commenting. To me Royal weddings are merely the precursor to the serious business of Royal infidelity followed by Royal divorce. All of which is fuelled by the press.

Leave the kids alone. Marriage is hard enough without the added pressure of being hounded 24 hours a day.

I shall not be writing a 'Wedding poem' either.

Poly Styrene. RIP. So sad.

This message came from Poly's team this morning:

Poly Styrene

We can confirm that the beautiful Poly Styrene, who has been a true fighter, won her battle on Monday evening to go to higher places. Love, the PS Team

Help save the Inn on the Green.

The Inn on the Green, Portobello. W11 is threatened with imminent closure:


Neleswa Mclean-Thorne writes:   "Well folks, our beloved Inn On The Green has come upon hard times. Their landlords are attempting to shut them down due to rent arrears; which The Inn have made every attempt to clear. However with the recession, followed by the local council/landlords cutting lobs and raising rents in the area, it has been a struggle. After many years of dedicated service to the community on Wednesday 13th April Inn On The Green were given 17days (until the 30th April) to "…clear the venue of all their belongings" A large group of patrons, promoters, artists and event organisers who have had the privilege of benefiting from the unique welcoming ethos of The Inn have come together. We plan to do everything in our power to delay closure by 6months so that we can have a chance to raise the money needed to save this invaluable community resource. What Can You Do? We have are having regular meetings in the venue at the moment all are welcome to attend and we will be posting them as they occur. We are also planning a protest outside of the Westway Development Trust Office (landlords), 1 Thorpe Close, London, W10 5XL - Wednesday 27th April - So far we are beginning to: - Involving Media, Print, Web, Radio - Contacting local MP's - Protest - Private Investors - Registering as a Charitable Organisation - Charitable Funding All in-put is welcome and appreciated so if you are able to make it down this evening please feel encouraged to do so, if not please do post any idea's you have... A Save IOTG Music Marathon event of music, poetry, comedy, performance art, exhibits (all of what the venue has encouraged throughout the years) is taking place from Saturday April 30th. In order to raise awareness, raise money in the short-term and boost moral. If you would like to be involved in the 24hr event please let us know. Details are posted on  Save the Inn On The Green. <3 to you all, thanks.





Ray Roughler Jones interviewing Mick Jones (no relation) at the Inn on the Green.

Loco Cabaret at the Grand Union.

Laid back.


That's the expression I was looking for. 


Loco Cabaret happens fortnightly at the Grand Union bar which is situated on the corner of Woodfield road in W9 (a two minute walk from Westbourne Park underground station) and overlooking the canal. Last night seemed like a good time to check it out. I know co-host James Simmins from past events at the Island and the Tabernacle and was curious as to what they were getting up to at this recently started residency.


I arrived early, bought a beer then sat in the garden watching the sunlight fade on the (let's be honest) turgid waters of the Grand Union canal. Flotilla's of ducks picking their way serenely through the water-borne detritus of city life added to the scene.


There was not a big crowd in the place (at one point early in the proceedings James was able to thank his audience personally and by name) but not surprising considering it was Easter Saturday during a heatwave and then suddenly beset by rain, fat meaty globs of rain which cleared the air but cleared the streets.


Laid back is what you get at Loco Cabaret, nothing pretentious or earnest, the sense that everyone involved was enjoying themselves was present and there was an interesting mix of acts:


Very good Jazz/blues guitar  from "Panama" Dave Parrett and Kalvin Zemzaris opened proceedings followed by Orson Deimel, Kosmic Troubador; who is quite frankly mad as a hatter and hilarious, Neil Anderson, the delightful Emma Lyndon-Stanford, Cuthbert 80 - rapper/singer extraordinaire and James himself with co-host Dan Antrubus. Dan along with Marty from Asian Dub foundation on bass gave us a refreshing take on 'Foxy Lady' (excellent). There was also Dave on djembe and Simon, & Christine on bass.



All in all rather akin to being at a party full of musicians and singers and the door onto the garden made smoking breaks a doddle.


The next one is on May 7th. I heartily recommend it. 


Downstairs @ The Grand Union Bar

W9 2BA - 45 Woodfield Rd

London, United Kingdom

Murray Lachlan Young's 'Burlesque' at the Drill Hall. Now called 'The Incomers'!

Update. April 2013: Burlesque has now become 'The Incomers' and is currently touring. Click on the photo (right) for details.

I witnessed something very wonderful tonight.

In a small black lined room beneath the Drill Hall in London a cast of four, directed by Paul Jepson,  performed a read through of Murray Lachlan Young's verse play 'Burlesque'.

'For fuck's sake a read through of a verse play.' I hear you groan. Well my biddies twas a polished piece of Cornish granite slapped onto the London clay.

The plot of course was truly bonkers and all the more real for that; Murray, in order to be a great humourist, is firstly a great and attentive observer of our times... Or perhaps his times. It involved the visit by a London cokehead, Porsche driving wideboy and his hot young squeeze to old friends in rural Cornwall. It was all about power and of course the power of sex and of course that power belonged to the hot young squeeze. It however (like shakespeare) never once looked to farce to save it's bacon. I'm saying no more than that.

A verse play of this ambition could have been an awful thing, could have been bum numbingly Art house, could have been perverse. Murray's play is a delight; Playfully funny stabbed by daggers of reality, relationship truths, lies and insecurities. This was Joe Orton, Dylan Thomas and the Angry young Men on coke. I wish Ken Tynan had been here to witness it.

The players: Rory Wilton, Mary Woodvine, Jerome Wright and Kirsty Osmon were impeccably cast and did their job with skill, enthusiasm and joy.

All in all seriously good.

The development of Burlesque has only been possible through financial support from the National Lottery through Arts Council England. It needs extra funding and support now and if you love good British theatre give it a boost. Check out www.murraylachlanyoung.co.uk to find out how.

Matthew Linley, the producer deserves a namecheck too: www.matthewlinley.wordpress.com

Viv Albertine's Debut Solo Album : Please Donate Now!

The Liar of Kowloon, Green tea, love and poetry.

My old friend So Su Mi, the fragrant oriental 'liar of Kowloon', dropped in today for a cup of green tea and a fish paste sandwich.

So Su Mi was the inspiration years ago for my poem 'Lying to me was the only honest thing she done'  and her habit of wearing plastic gardenias (sprayed with feminine deodorant 'to keep them fragrant') in her hair never ceased to amuse me. Whenever she visits she rifles through my notebooks for words to steal and I always count the silver when she's gone.

So Su Mi once stole my collection of dolls eyes.

So Su Mi is in love! This was the reason for her visit: 'I am in love'. She trilled as she entered the room. 'I am really in love. Really really in love'.

I gave her a chair before she had time to steal anything and poured the tea. 'Tell me about him'. I said.

She went on at length: 'He is amazing. He is not like any other man; he is handsome, he is intelligent, he does not smell, he is rich, he adores me, he is the only man I have ever felt was my equal, did I tell you he is rich....'

I allowed her to waffle on in this manner for a good half hour before interjecting with the question: 'And where did you meet him?'

'Oh we have only talked on facebook. He loves my poetry and is teaching me about the beauty of everything around me. I feel that I am on some special journey into an unknown land and he is handsome, rich, intelligent blah blah blah etc'.

'And what do you want from me So Su Mi'. I asked.

'I need some more poems to blind him with. I cannot fool him with my usual 'cut and pastes' from the Oxford book of Modern Verse. Give me some poetry'.

I handed her my Morocco bound, signed, first edition of the collected works of McGonagal having first 'bookmarked' 'The Tay Bridge Disaster'. Saying: 'Here. This should be perfect'.

She thrust the book into her faux Gucci handbag, smeared me with a sneering kiss and oozed oleogenously from my house.

She telephoned me twenty minutes ago. Telling me that it is all over: 'I hate him. He is a psycho after all. His profile picture  wasn't him and he isn't rich. He is a security guard at Tesco. I have called the police; his credit card was snatched back by the ATM when I tried to use it. He questioned my lies. He tried to make me pay for coffee and he is a liar'.

'What did he think of McGonegal'. I asked.

'Oh. I sold that shitty old book and bought some glitter'.

'Goodbye So Su Mi'. I lisped as I hung up.

The Handsome Family - Weightless Again.mov

The Handsome Family are coming to the Tabernacle in May... Yeeha!

The Wellcome Collection and welcome recollection.

Why do they allow people to walk around galleries touting back-packs? The Wellcome Collection is not the foothills of the Himalayas or the Brecon Beacons even; It is a fucking gallery.

DIRT The Filthy Reality of Everyday Life (Unnecessarily clumsily laid out within their self described 'Versatile Space'. Nothing more than a laboratory maze of an exhibition, quite fitting I suppose in light of Wellcomes origins) is a celebration of dirt.

Educational I suppose for the young but to me a depressing deviation from the interesting; promulgating the myth that education must always centre on shit. To me just a deviation from the good stuff. I have no interest in poking about in stools.

The cafe was busy.

It was a chilly, rainy afternoon and a curious venue for a meeting with a woman I had not seen for 40 years. An on-line question of identity had lead to this event.

As I waited for her (would I recognise her?) My head screamed: Run, never go back, never revisit the past: That forgotten dusty cupboard on some long lost landing.

But the cafe was busy.

That she is small and blonde is all I had to go on; there will be no school uniform now, no green bowler hat to tip me off. she will have to make herself known to me.

As it was I saw her first.

What fun.

Pear cider, Yuri Gagarin and flouting the law.

To celebrate Yuri Gagarin bursting my birthday balloon all those years ago I am drinking a bottle of Magners pear cider. It is very fizzy.

In my youth this stuff was called Babycham and came in tiny nip sized bottles. I can remember bringing home as 'carry-outs' from my under-age sorties to the village pub a bottle of Babycham for my mother and a bottle of barley-wine for the old man.

It was considered infra dig (for a teenager in those days) not to flout the drinking laws in rural England. It was OK though because the pub landlord was also the village bobby and would monitor proceedings.

It was a good system, as systems go, and as good systems go... It went*. Now kids have to make do with buying bottles of Diamond White to skulkily consume on the street.

* Apologies to 'Saki' H. H. Munro.

First Orbit

Yuri Gagarin stole the limelight.

April 12th 1961 was my 6th birthday. Yuri Gagarin orbited the World for the first time ever that day. I remember it well; he stole the show.

 I also remember seeing this photograph later in the year and thinking he didn't look much like a spaceman.

Yuri Gagarin posing with his wife Valentina and daughter Jelena on the beach in Glasma, June 1960.Photo: AFP/Getty Image

At just after 0700BST, 12 April 1961, Russian, Major Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin was fired from the Baikonur launch pad in Kazakhstan, in the space craft Vostok (East), to become the first man in space.

Major Gagarin orbited the Earth for 108 minutes travelling at more than 17,000 miles per hour (27,000 kilometres per hour) before landing at an undisclosed location.

Gagarin Died in 1968 when his MIG 15 crashed in bad weather... If only he had flown closer to the sun that day.

Magnolias.

She came to visit

after twenty years of not a word

but was passing

was just passing

and as passing stopped

bringing with her the rusty key

to that locked and dusty room

called memory.

filling our heads

with the contents of that room

we then took a walk

in the spring sun

I led her to the April street

lined with magnolias

where for just one week

romance blossoms

alas too late

the blowsy meaty petals blown

smearing the pavement

with disappointment

'we are too late' I said

turning back

'we should have come here earlier'

and she asked when?

'Oh twenty years ago'.

(She came to visit

after all thse years of not a word

but was passing

was just passing

and as passing stopped

for long enough

to bear witness

to a seasonal disappointment).

Jooiijkaa!

The Idler Academy. The school for me.

we appear to be blogging live from the Idler Academy in Westbourne Park road W11. It must be Ok, I had to pass the Cow to get here. I'm meeting a serious fellow blogger and this seemed the place to do it. I am sitting in the garden, armed with wifi, a cup of coffee and a labrador for company. If I run out of ideas there is a wall of books to peruse. Incidentally, for local readers Books can be ordered at the Idler for following day delivery; use this place, it is a refreshing change from the usual vanity bikini shops that occupy this parade of shops.

Murray Lachlan Young is delivering a lecture here next week and they have a whole bunch of other stuff lined up... Check out the website: http://idler.co.uk/academy/about-the-idler-academy/

Will and Kate's Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

‘WILL AND KATE’S BIG FAT WEDDING © Alex and Rory Scarfe 2011, published by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd and available in all good book stores.’

Leslie Howard: The Man Who Gave a Damn.

At the Michael Horovitz thing last night I got talking to filmmaker Tom Hamilton about a Leslie Howard documentary he has been working on for some years. he pointed me in the direction of his web-site. It is a fascinating story and well worth reading.

He writes:

When film fans today refer to Leslie Howard, the most common memory is of the ineffectual Southerner Ashley Wilkes, which he played in “Gone with the Wind”

It’s ironic that he’s forever associated with a part he fought against in a movie that he never watched. It’s equally unfortunate that his somewhat colourless and disinterested acting in that film is often assumed to be typical of his career. For Leslie Howard captivated a generation of theatre and film-goers through the 20’s and 30’s with his beautiful voice, poetic appearance and low key acting style, and his performances on film are equally compelling and mysterious today.  READ MORE

Michael Horovitz picture poetry, cock and Bottle.

                                Michael Horovitz.

I didn't know it was happening until the last minute. Tracy invited me along (Tracy is about as rock n roll as it gets in this area) so I went.

we met in the pub that was once called the Chepstow but has now been completely ruined and renamed after a sofa.

Paintings by poets are a dangerous thing. After all (one thinks) if they were good artists we would be invited to hear poems by an artist; Daubing has more value than verse. As it was we were invited to 'picture poems, bop art paintings, Collages, jazz paintry, Prints and drawings' All on show in Pembridge Road W11.

It was fun and it was totally unpretentious. Michael was charming and disarming and his work struck a chord acting as a focal point for a birthday party. I went in two minds and came home in one.

Afterwards we grabbed a pint at the Cock and Bottle; the last proper pub in Notting Hill.

Sophie Barker at Ronnie Scott's, puppies and stiletto heels.

Last night was a good one and requires a bit of Back story:

12 weeks ago a friends Jack Russell gave birth to 2 pups. the music for the event was provided by Sophie Barker; the album 'Seagull' to be released in May: http://www.sophiebarker.com/music/seagull/ ).  I'd heard the name before from her Zero7 days but had not heard any of her solo stuff.

Last night I was lucky enough to get to go to Sophie's press/invite only gig at Ronnie Scott's. I went with the Jack Russells Mistress (the puppy stuff makes sense now doesn't it). I intentionally did not listen to any of her stuff beforehand; I much prefer to hear someone live the first time, free from bias or pre-conceptions. In the cab on the way there I learned something new about stiletto heels

The room upstairs is fine for small occasions (but it turned out to be no small occasion) with the band set up under a skylight (it was early evening and still light outside) providing an odd combination of Jazz Club and daylight. Ms Jack Russell knew enough people there to make it a friendly event from the outset. A good number of Sophie's friends appeared to be there too. There was also a slightly spooky coincidental 'small world' moment for me: Long story, won't bore you with it here.

Sophie is a talented lady with a great voice, she has (in 'Seagull') produce that rare thing: An album of consistently good songs most of which she performed beautifully last night, backed by a very tight and very competent set of musicians. All in all it was a delightful surprise to hear grown up music for a change. If you ever want a demonstration of how to showcase versatility in both song-writing and performance you could do no better than to get to one of her live shows. Early on in the proceedings Sophie was momentarily distracted by a pigeon flying overhead which caused her to produce a memorable smile and set the tone for evening. Her set was too short for my liking. I left happily clutching a promo copy of her album; it will be played regularly!

All in all a joyful event.

We tried to get a tri-shaw back to Notting Hill but made do with a cab. I'll tell you about the stiletto heels another day.

Michael Jackson Statue unveiled in Fulham.

GOOD GRIEF!

Personally I prefer this one...